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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 60: Look For the Answer Within Yourself.

Sometimes it feels like nothing makes sense. Sometimes we feel tired, or angry, and we don’t know why, we just feel like something’s wrong, and we wish we could find out exactly what the problem is. We try to pass the time, to think about other things, to stay busy, or to sleep. We try to distract ourselves by any means necessary since we can’t simply sit, alone with our discomfort, we can’t accept that it’s there for a reason, so that we can find out what that reason really is. In order to find out why we feel the discomfort we do, why we feel stressed or depressed or frustrated, we need to acknowledge that there’s a reason why we feel this way. Feelings don’t just come out of nowhere, and most of the time we are unconscious of the things that we do, or that happen in our lives, that cause us to feel certain emotions during the course of each day. We don’t observe our feelings, we simply feel bored so we find a way to kill time, or we feel stressed so we find some way to distract ourselves, to get caught up in the moment so that we don’t have to think. This may be the very root of our problem, the fact that we are not fully transparent to ourselves. We might think that we know ourselves, that we know what really makes us who we are, what we stand for, why we think or feel the way we do, but the truth is that we know very little about ourselves, about how our thoughts and emotions work or where they come from. It’s very easy to believe our own lies when they are comforting, when they prevent us from making the changes we need to be making in our lives. Usually we don’t even know that this is going on, since very few of us even take a few minutes of each day to sit in silence, to reflect. So many of us have unresolved issues which are subconsciously sabotaging our lives, issues which we are too afraid to face, which we have been too afraid to face for far too long, and which are now wreaking havoc in our lives without us being aware of it. We’ve ignored our problems for so long that we’ve finally forgotten that they are there. Forgetting about our problems won’t make them go away however, it will only make us unable to deal with them. What we need to do is to find time to go deep inside, to find time to simply be, to know the essence of what it means to be alive, to be ourselves, by ourselves, without any external influence, keeping our awareness away from desires and ambitions, from attachments and aversions, and focusing on that which we know is the highest truth, the highest good which exists. All of us have some form of understanding of this, it is an intuition which is within us. We need to stop ignoring our intuition, we need to find time to be alone with it, we need to pray, to meditate, to be at peace, to let go of any past evil which has been committed by us or against us, and to be at peace, just here and now, understanding that now is all that there is, and that we can only begin to live correctly now if we come to terms with the past, and if we can let go of our pain, of our hate, of our desire for things to be different, and to reach a point where we are now free to enjoy the blessings of each moment, without pressure. Problems often seem too big for us to overcome, but it’s often because we don’t even know where the problems stem from. We are under too much pressure, too much stress, we are not in a position to find out what the source of our problems are, let alone to get to work on fixing it. We have to stop looking for external solutions to problems which we can’t even pinpoint, and instead we need to focus completely on the inner, on slowing down and on analyzing our lives up until now, on bringing peace to our minds and lives. We need to stop frantically searching for an answer, and we need to simply stop ignoring that which we know to be right. The solution to our problems doesn’t have to be too complicated, but if we never bother to look in the right place, in that place within our very souls, then we will never find it no matter how far we may travel, no matter how dedicated we may be to our search. If we keep on ignoring those things which make us uncomfortable, if we keep on attempting to fill the void, to fill the silence, with all sorts of pointless noise, with useless and even harmful activities, we will never find the answer, we will never find true satisfaction. This is a message to everyone who is feeling completely frustrated by life and what it entails, by the feeling of something missing, of something being wrong even when nothing seems to be wrong externally, who suffer and struggle with these feelings but don’t know why. Don’t give in to boredom, don’t give in to restlessness. Calm down, calm your mind, see the blessings which surround you in your life, understand that everything is a process, that everything happens for a reason, that you are where you need to be. Stop desperately looking for the magic cure against all sorrow, instead embrace all your sorrow, embrace your pain, embrace life with all it includes, and simply seek to humbly understand yourself, to become better every day. Stop ignoring the truth, make the necessary changes and things will slowly get better. Don’t try to run before you can walk, make the changes that you need to make now so that you can be in a position to make much bigger changes in the future. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 61.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 48: Nothing Will Change By Wishing.

Heaven and hell, some believe are states of mind, that we can reach at any time. Some say we will reach them after we’ve finally left this world behind. We have the Light within ourselves yet we always try to shine, externally, to fulfill a longing that persists eternally, we’re on a constant quest to find, connection, first we need a bit of introspection, before the world we can dream to conquest. We need to do the necessary work with no exception, until we can rise again just like Jesus’ resurrection. To carry the cross to our own death, to leave the palace privileges behind like Buddha, in order to live among the people, the poor, with their many diseases and infections, to work on work of the breath, Pranayama, on concentration and whatever’s left, after feeling has vanished and thought has totally left. Who can find heaven on earth? Who has even a recollection, of his past life, who can remain loyal to God’s goodness as a faithful husband to his loving wife? Who has the most minimal clue of what life is actually worth? Have we found any true connection with the source, or affinity with the living and loving force which animates the bodies we inhabit? How many of us have taken the time to analyze and change our most familiar habits? The habits which we need to change, to take the time to rearrange, our life, at first it’s bound to seem so strange, but you’ll find another range, of vision now becomes clear, you feel you’re on a mission, fear begins to lessen, every obstacle becomes a lesson, which is in itself a blessing, of the highest degree. As we see the Self in others and ourselves, we become free. Free of doubt, truly understanding what the Soul’s about. Spirit, however you’d like to call it. A blessing so rich, wealth that can’t fit in a wallet, even if it’s in a bank card, beyond the thrill of an alcoholic, or an addict of drugs, the source of unlimited love, the light that shines in the heart of even the hardest thug. It cannot be extinguished for good, embrace it is exactly what we all should, and indeed need to do, if we wish to succeed. Is success heaven? Not material success? You could argue for the side of no, or either for the side of yes. Fame and money bring stress. Is this how you would define it? Success to you is all about shining, diamonds, fine and expensive attire, is this why you work so hard and can never retire? Is it the money you’re connected to, so mentally wired? Is that the highest reason that you have to get inspired? Don’t chase wealth, but take care of your health. Don’t chase paper, it comes and it goes. Time goes and never comes back, as far as anyone knows. To death and annihilation, we’re all at all times exposed. So we might as well do it on our own, and follow it as the path we chose. The path of doing what’s right, of shining a light, of being a blessing, a bright, and shining guide to the blind with no sight, to the dumb and deaf, understand their spirit never left. It’s been living through the centuries, and even milennia, through us all. Help your brother up when you see him fall, don’t laugh at him while he’s down and you stand tall. Heaven? Nirvana? Do you know if it’s now or then? Is it today or tomorrow, is it here or there? Who knows? But what we do know, is that life on this earth short, and we can’t go through it as if it’s a simple hobby, we need to pretend we’re professionals at our favorite sport. We need to take it seriously, to understand our situation. We can inspire an entire generation, with the words and deeds which we bring into formation. We can never escape duality, but we can play an immense part in creating our own reality, and thereby affecting those of those around us, so we can stop feeling so lost and finally see that it was God who found us. Stop thinking of the future, of the gift you will receive. Stop thinking of your own self being rewarded, feel the pain when others grieve. Treat the world as your own Spirit. Keep this realization in your mind like your favorite musical lyrics, keep it in your attention, can heaven escape you if you are at peace with who you are? Do you know how to be anything else? We have all made mistakes, and we are sure to make more. Life is very unpredictable still, we don’t know what’s in store. But we can make less mistakes, and ensure we will suffer less. Bad things will happen still, nevertheless. Yet we leave it in God’s hands, we never worry since it’s all in God’s plan. All we can do is find a way to portray what righteousness means to a world that has gone astray. Every religion or race can find wisdom, within their own religious and spiritual system. But the vast mass of world civilians, has no clue of their true nature, people in the millions. We feel trapped, under the stress of work and bills, under the fear of going out and being killed, due to the neighborhoods we live in, we are tempted by all forms of evil so we give in, and we participate, we descend lower and lower instead of elevate. We conform and we’re okay with being mediocre, but never great. We see life as a horrible fate, which we just can’t escape. We feel constant suffering, hunger. We feel the world on our shoulders, holding us down, keeping us under. Drugged and sedated, we love and we hate it, we endlessly cry, we look up and complain to the sky. Isn’t this pure hell? Ignorance of our true nature, giving in to such suffering, wailing and wishing that things wouldn’t be the way they are. Nothing can change by wishing, whether to God or on a star.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 49.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 41: Don’t Take Family for Granted.

I went to my cousin’s high school graduation today. They put up a video of some childhood photos for each of the kids who were graduating. It was great seeing him happy, enjoying his graduation ceremony along with friends. I don’t remember my own graduation ceremony, since I never went. I wasn’t invited, since I got kicked out of school, and finished my high school education online. Thankfully that was an option, and it ended up being for the best anyway, since I graduated even earlier than my classmates who didn’t get expelled. Putting my own past aside though, my cousin’s ceremony really brought up a good feeling within me, a feeling of true bonding between families, of children making their parents happy, of how great it is when a child actually wants to follow the path their parents hope they will follow. I could never relate to these things, although in a way I still wish I could. I’ve always wanted to do my own thing, and it didn’t always end up with in the greatest of situations. I do know the joy that comes from a family spending time together and simply getting along though, a feeling of unconditional love and support. We often spend a lifetime searching for this in other people, searching for the group of people with whom we’ll feel comfortable, who we can be ourselves with. It turns into a crazy kind of desperation for us, even for many people who already have this love available in their family, yet have always taken it for granted. Sometimes, we feel ashamed to be ourselves with our families, since we come to feel guilty for taking, taking, taking so much without giving back even half as much. We feel as though we’ve got to pay them back for all the wonderful things they’ve done for us. Someone who is an amazing example for us of how to live life is now avoided because they we feel a deep sense of shame when we’re around them, we know that they have been there for us through the worst of times, and that they truly know us. We shouldn’t feel any shame regarding this however, our families are the few people who we can truly be vulnerable with. We can’t always trust everyone we meet, we can’t share our feelings with every person we find on the street, yet most of us are provided with people who unconditionally love and support us right from the get-go, from the moment that first breath is taken, and even before then. Yes, it’s true that sometimes parents can be a bit too controlling, but unless there is something really serious going on, physical or emotional or unspeakable kind of abuse, unless this is the case then a person has no excuse to completely disregard a parent who only wants what’s the best for them. This doesn’t mean that their advice, or their opinions, should be our own, and that they should be followed without fault even after we reach adulthood. It means, however, that we should carefully consider their ideas, sometimes people who have known us for a long time might see things about ourselves that we can’t see, being so caught up in our own personal drama, unable to look at things from a different perspective than our own. This is exactly what was going on with my parents and I during my high school years. I loved them so much, I still do and always will, and I couldn’t bear to let them know that I was completely disregarding their advice, that I was doing things, consciously doing things, which to them were completely outrageous, things that no one in their right mind would do. Looking back on some of those things, I see that in some ways they were right. In some they were wrong, and some of those habits I still have today, but a lot of times they were right. I couldn’t see they were right though, I was too blind to see what was going on in my own stupid lifestyle, so I ignored what they said, I ignored their pain and suffering because the pleasure of the trance I was caught up in was too heavy, it was too euphoric to escape from, no matter how wrong I knew I was. I think of them quietly sitting at home, suffering for my actions, the actions of an ungrateful, rebellious teenager who just couldn’t stop getting into senseless troubles. I think of my mother’s tears, of my father’s temper towards everyone at home, stressed about my situation. Ignorance is bliss, and I wasn’t there with them, suffering with them, as we are supposed to do with our family members. Instead, I was the very reason for their suffering, and I was laughing all along, laughing harder and harder to make sure I wouldn’t cry. But sometimes I would trip, and I would eventually cry. I would think back of times, such as today’s graduation, times in my own life when I saw my mother smile, proud of her firstborn son, when I heard my father cheer me on as a child. I thought back on times of severe stress, of fighting and fussing and yelling at home, of sadness and silence, of rainy days, tormented by the consequences of my own actions, the suffering doubled by the fact that I had spread it throughout my household, that I was the cause of so much pain. If only the pain was all my own, then I could deal with the consequences on my own. If only I could leave, then I would be the only one responsible, the only one held accountable, but the only one suffering, the only one enjoying and suffering. That would be just fine by me. I couldn’t wait to leave from my parents’ home and party every night and suffer every morning, alone, without thinking about reality. Such is the state of many young people, for me it’s taken a few years to even begin escaping from that state of mind, but I’m making progress. We all need help sometimes, and I know it’s tempting to behave as if we’re all along, us against the world, and that we’ll make it on our own, that we’ll show them. Keep cool though, put your pride to the side, and appreciate those who love you, even if they disagree with you, even if they annoy you. Try your best to understand them, to truly listen, especially to your family. Give them a chance, build a stronger bond, family is meant to help each other. Don’t take them for granted and always do your best to keep the peace with them.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 42.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 26: The Universal Will.

The Universal Will is beyond pain and pleasure, and it is beyond any one human life. We are all instruments bringing reality together, essential parts of the time in history which we were born in, and each death is just as important and significant as each life. When we realize that death is such a great motivator for keeping us on track we can no longer despise it. When we no longer despise death we come to realize that death is precious. If we had no death we might fall into such deep meaninglessness that we can no longer summon the energy to do anything at all. This is not to meant we no longer suffer during death, this suffering is natural. But we must understand that beyond our sense of loss, our pain due to that part of our heart which is now missing, there is a greater plan, and that death is not annihilation, since there is an eternal godly spark within us that can never die. Humanity continues to search for cures for all kinds of diseases in order to prolong life, but it only really matters to us when it becomes a reality for us or those we love. As long as tragedy doesn’t affect us, we go on living as if it doesn’t exist at all anywhere else in the world. We complain that we are bored, that we have to spend time at school or at work, that we have to accompany our mother to the grocery store, that we have to help our younger siblings with their homework. Everything is a reason for complaint. Since we have nothing worthwhile to do with our time we simply spend it complaining, stressing ourselves out. Stress is a slow killer but a killer nonetheless. Complaining might seem like a form of venting and letting our frustration out, but it actually drags us further into misery and affects those who surround us as well. When death or disease strike we are all of a sudden so compelled to do whatever it takes to prolong the same existence we were just complaining about a moment ago. We have become ungrateful. What we need is to strengthen our core as human beings, by understanding that our mind and body are simply vehicles for a much higher power, an indestructible power. We cannot strengthen our willpower. Willpower comes from Spirit and it is always as strong as it can be. When I speak of willpower I speak of the Divine will which is inherent in man. Any desire which does not arise from this will does not arise from willpower at all, but from the animal instincts which man carries within himself, from the raw emotion and thought that binds us to a merely physical experience of pain and petty pleasures. We can chase pleasure to the farthest extremes of this earth and we will end up disappointed and disillusioned no matter how high we climb. Confusion will strike like that inflicted upon the builders of Babel as we are humbled for having attempted to reach God status by elevating ourselves and putting others down, by letting our worldly desires drag us through the mud, all the while in a state of pure ecstasy. After all, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance of our truly divine nature is the cause of all needless human suffering, so there’s no wonder there’s so much of both nowadays. We spend too much time in our comfort zones, chasing pleasure or avoiding all pain. We become attached to our own perceptions of who we are, which are also affected by others’ perceptions with who we are. After so many days of the same routine, the same things bothering us, the same things making us feel a bit satisfied with life, we think we know ourselves. We think we know what we really think about certain topics, we think we mean things which we don’t mean, we think we are a thousand things, when in reality, at the highest level, we are all one in being, all of us being, one being. This is why we know what is right and what is wrong, yet we try to remain in ignorance, because it feels great. We lie to ourselves, as if we could, and indeed we can. We can lie to our perceived self, our self-imposed identity of ourselves, but we can never, under any circumstances, succeed in lying to our higher Self, to God within us. The source of all love and wisdom knows nothing else, and when we act out of accordance with these attributes we face unnecessary suffering, self-inflicted suffering. This is because the real Self always knows where we are screwing up. It knows when we are not aligned with our true nature. That’s why so many of us chase the drink I think, because it allows us to be who we think we want to be without that voice of reason dragging us down. We want to experience all the things we know we shouldn’t, we just need to lower our sense of judgement in order to enjoy them for a sweet second, in order to avoid any reflection whatsoever about what we have in our our own minds, about how we can enrich them and use life as a blessing, to bless ourselves and many others. We all feel inspired by such an idea, and even great criminals have helped the needy. It’s obvious that, as the phrase goes, sharing is caring. This is part of the love and wisdom of God, yet some of us choose to ignore this, and instead we choose to nurture the rotten ideas of selfishness which we’ve slowly began developing in our brains. Explain it in whatever way, but selfishness needs to be forgotten if we are to follow a spiritual life. Jesus advised against considering any earthly thing as treasure, and recommended to focus on the treasures of the spirit instead, while the Buddha taught complete non-attachment to all worldly things, rooted in the reality beyond all suffering. He also preached balance, the middle way, something else which could be thought of as a divine attribute of the One Being.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 27.

~ Rebel Spirit 

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 24: The Truth In Front Of Your Eyes!

Times are hard but don’t allow the anxiety to take control. We have to stand firm and face the reality we find ourselves in. Suffering seems neaningless, existence a cruel cosmic joke. Wishing the existential enemy would vanish like clouds of smoke. Puff, puff, death slowly enters our system. A slow suicide to show those who don’t care to listen. Revenge on society, harming none other than ourselves. Why worry about death, we feel we’re already in hell. Don’t we see that we’ve created this mess. We live the consequences of our collective actions yet we think we’re trapped in a torturous test. We fail to see the blessing, the option to learn a lesson from everything you experience. Everything is void, empty of meaning and that’s why you must give it meaning. The ultimate meaning of life? Don’t waste the days away wondering about absolute truth, the truth is in every task you haven’t completed, every rhyme you haven’t laid down in the booth. Do what needs to be done, and stop wishing for another task. If you want a better future, you should have lived a different past. But alas, nothing lasts. Is that too painful to bear? The eventual end of existence of all we know we care for? Or is this the greatest, most liberating truth that we could ever share? That we’re not permanently stuck here, that soon we’ll all be who knows where? Everything is nothing, nothing is all. Goodness is all that exists, the image of God is the human blueprint. We need not cry to the skies for an answer, we need not look externally. God dwells in the holy temple, all we need to do is enter the holy vessel we’ve been blessed with from birth. We shouldn’t ignore it, or neglect it, we should value it for what it’ worth. Look at the truth in front of your eyes! Love your wife, hug your mother, bless your brother, be there for one another, respect and learn from your father. Even if they’re not the best of parents, we all can learn a lesson from the family we enter the world into. A lot of us are born into first hand experience of why we shouldn’t do some of the horrible things we humans simply shouldn’t do. But why do you suffer and not I? Why do I suffer and not you now? It is irrelevant, since we are all bound to suffer during this human lifetime. As you suffer, I unconsciously suffer, and vice versa. We are all one, we are all laughing in the now, just as we are all crying in agony. Everything present, we are being born and dying. Nothing lasts forever, except the One Spirit which returns to the source. Call it what you like, but its attributes are love and wisdom, the common goodness which we all share yet often choose to ignore. Seek affinity with this higher power and you cannot be led astray. Do what you know to be right, and cherish every single day., not tomorrow but today. Because nothing lasts forever, seasons change with the weather. Life stages go by, a quick flip through our lifetime’s pages. We grow old and get sick and wonder what age is. But don’t be dragged down with your body, remain grounded, couragoues character is contagious. Face the pain, face the tragedy with all the strenght within you, and be an example for others to do the same. Trust in the highest power within you, and the pain will pass. Pleasure passes, pain passes, time never stands still for us terrestrial citizens. It is a gift and a curse, but ultimately nothing can curse the immprtal soul which gives us life, which navigates through the busy streets by means of a body, a body which will soon go back to the earth. Contributions in life, and in death. We keep on moving, all we ever have is the now. We can only change now, we can only truly live now, we can only be now, and never again. Don’t let regrets get the best of you, and try to give thanks even when it seems unthinkable. Live beyond the personal illusion, remain in the Self, allow no devilish intrusion. Temptation is everywhere, but don’t blame a soul, instead take a moment to breathe deep and keep control. You are not your brain or your bodily strenth, you are the spirit within, divine energy. So stop making excuses for why you can’t, for why maybe you shouldn’t do what you fear most. Where there’s fear there’s resistance, so there’s gotta be a great calling. Reconnecting with the true Self beyond all identity allows us to see that there is no me. If I harm another I suffer in the end, even if doesn’t seem so in the moment. Life is never guaranteed, so every day is a new blessing. We find that so often our lives change with our attitudes. Less complaining and more being grateful is what we have to do, we need to stop whining and accept that if we are to accept life, even if maybe we didn’t choose to live in the first place, then we have to accept it with all the suffering it includes. In this world of desire we all feel empty and disconnected from the source. But this emptiness is the source, this emptiness shows us that nothing else will ever compare to what we are truly missing and desperately attempting to reconnect with. Accept this life for what it is, no one’s life is more special than anyone elses, and in fact we are all one life, all one being. We can fail without all the pressure being on us, we can learn from failure, and we can ultimately succeed without feeling the need to act superiror, understanding that every achievement we make is an achievement for the whole of mankind, and every evil deed we commit is a seed of destruction for all, including those we love as well as ourselves, and each time we ignore our higher calling we become more and more disconnected, not necessarily from the way things should be, but from the way things could be.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 25.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 22: The Buddha’s First Noble Truth.

Courtesy is the key to compassion, to common understanding that we are all one, that we are all together in this life. I can’t stress enough how important it is that we each do the best we can at keeping calm even as we navigate through whatever storm we may be currently facing in the deep and devastating sea of sorrow which is reality. This is not pessimistic though, such was the Buddha’s teaching. One must fully acknowledge and accept life’s inherent yet impermanent suffering in order to stop creating more suffering during this life. We cannot lash out on others in order to feel better about our current situations, we cannot use aggression to vent our frustration. Yet so many of us react in such a way because we have been conditioned to never ask for help. In this cold and competitive world which we live in it is a crime to show vulnerability, to spill out your soul to somebody else, to fully trust someone and accept the suffering that might come as a side effect. Such behavior can ruin us, it can open a door for the wicked people to haunt us. At least that’s what we’ve been led to believe. And in a way it’s true. But hiding away from all possible suffering shuts us down, and ultimately prevents us from living our lives freely. Consumer culture is surely succeeding at creating a materialistic society in which petty products are the ultimate symbols of status and success. Money and fame are flaunted in our faces to tempt us, to make us believe that we need to slave away to acquire these things, to be more popular, to be cooler, to be richer, to be more successful, to be who we always wanted to be, never having a moment of true peace to be happy with ourselves and the lives we’ve been so blessed with. All the rich and famous suicide victims could tell us that money doesn’t bring happiness. No one seemed to expect it, they were completely normal on the outside. Of course, we can’t actually ask them now whether they would back this claim up, but I have a feeling that if so much money could give a real sense of meaning to a person’s life, a sense of hope, they might still be alive today. The same script plays out over and over again, yet we still refuse to learn the obvious lessons which can be extracted from these people’s lives. Life is suffering, and suffering is life. All good contains some bad, all bad contains some good. The poor man complains because he lives in misery. The rich man lives in misery, in crippling fear of poverty. The man who is neither rich nor poor agonizes over the fact that his neighbor has a newer and nicer car than him. Such is the way of attachment, such is the product of the materialistic mentality we have developed. Attachment to wealth is the greatest delusion since it makes human hearts grow cold, leading us to refuse help and shelter to one another, to value a symbol of wealth rather than real wealth. When we place greater value on worthless pieces of paper than we do on other people’s lives then we are on the fast track to complete corruption, first of the individual and soon in a global scale. We will soon be able to commit any evil deed in order to get ahead. And this is the goal of the system. The goal is to separate us, the goal is to turn us all against one another, the goal is to make us covet our neighbor’s blessings, everything everyone else has, to desire more and more until the point where we feel so empty that there is only death left to desire – annihilation of such a seemingly meaningless and vain existence. Such is the way of the man who has corrupted his mind with materialistic desires, lust, greed, arrogance, hate, with paralyzing fear and doubt. We all love to complain about the corruption in the world, but we ignore it when we are the ones who act in a corrupt manner. Perhaps we are living in such ignorance that we fail to even notice our own corruption, but the real Self can never be fooled. We love to blame others for the state of the world, all the while ignoring what we could be doing to create a better world. We need to begin with the environment around us. As a matter of fact, we first need to understand that the essence of this world is duality. In this life there is pain and pleasure, and both are inevitable. Even worldly pleasure is not true pleasure, as it is a part of duality. We love and cherish our families and all the great memories we have of them, but the greater amount of memories we store of them in our minds the more we are likely to miss them when they depart – the more we will suffer, from the memories of wonderful days. The point is that, no matter how much we try to improve this planet, no matter how many pure people dedicate their lifetimes to the enlightenment of this world, suffering will always arise, it being an inevitable an essential part of life. This was Buddha’s first Noble Truth: Life is suffering. The suffering that we can avoid is the suffering that we ourselves create by reacting in the way we do to any given situation that life presents us with, to any obstacle it may throw our way. We need to connect with the Divine within us, with the stillness of the universal Spirit, an essence of godliness which can never be corrupted, and which is free to keep calm in any and every situation, as it exists in a dimension above duality. I refer to the oneness behind all life, behind the spinning energies of the yin and yang, the reason why all contradictions bring us to the same truth. It is the reason why death always follows life, and life begins after death, why we continue existing eternally.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 23.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 15: What’s the Point of It All?

Sometimes we wonder why we should even try, we awake with this doubt, with its accompanying thoughts and feelings, they hold us down to our comfortable beds, comfortably numb but held down by our own weight. The room’s a mess, the whole house even, for days and weeks on end, for months, time flies and nothing gets done, yet everything happens, every day and night — we just don’t seem to be in control of what happens. It reminds us of our own dissatisfaction with ourselves, with the daily routine, of the resistance within us, that seductive, deceiving demon who thrives off of shaming and ridiculing us for even dreaming of dreaming our dreams at all, not to mention really dreaming them, or drastically turning them into reality. Even if we can beat this devil and stroll triumphantly out of hell, succeeding in our primordial task of completely demolishing resistance and getting started with our sacred journey, even after this moment divine ecstasy of finally beginning, too often we come to find, after a rather short interval of time usually, that results rarely turn out the way we initially planned them, or worse, that things always go wrong! This could go for your day or for any long-term project. It can be applied to life in general, its unexpected and unprecedented. We complain, but that’s how we’ve come to like it, how things ought to be even. But forget it, things always seem to go wrong exclusively for us! We make a fuss, we kick and cuss at the sky, we ask why and we cry like cosmic babies to Father God, or to mother helplessness, but in a frenzy of agony and anger mixed together nonetheless, no matter who we’re kicking and yelling at. We’re really yelling at ourselves though. We recognize our enemy as ourselves, deep down inside all of us do, and this frustrates us more than anything because we’re in denial, we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone and start being who we are meant to be, whether this means a dramatic transformation, or just being in the now, enjoying the day without wishing we were elsewhere, or nowhere. Let’s take a moment to think back. Did we go all the way with it, really go all the way, or did we do things without applying the correct dose of concentration, or without adopting the correct attitude towards the matter? Ideas may float through our mental horizons ceaselessly, but they may not even turn out in any way at all in real life, seeing as how they never get started. Sometimes people are about to make great success in internally defeating resistance, yet outer circumstances may prevent them from making this final ascension. The tragedy of the human condition keeps us cynically inspired with lethargy, with hate and with an attitude of not being able to care less, but which really masks a deep care for the world and its inhabitants, along with a fear for yourself and for anyone you love, fear that they could ever experience such horrors. People are dying all around us, everyone pretending they can hold it together, everyone keeping busy, in a rush, chasing the next thrill, everyone addicted to a chemical, a pill. No one can stop for the moment and be free, without fidgeting with their phone or shaking their leg. Some part of us must remain busy, we must hold an appearance and we must never be vulnerable. We are trying to cover up the truth with massive amounts of lies, and it shows. But who cares if others can tell? Who really cares? They can’t even tell, they themselves being too busy digging into, or covering up, their own problematic psyches just like you are. Is there a meaning to life beyond a high, beyond a trip, beyond a mystical moment of oneness? Is there more to God than a vision of Jesus, or of Buddha, or of a prophet from ancient times? Is there more to life than a vision, more than the petty lies we tell ourselves and each other? Or are these produced in the mind? Could the people who hear voices telling them to kill their families be hearing the same voices that the ancients heard when they passed their sons through fire to please the gods? Could it even be the same voice that commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? Or could these be devils, while this was in fact, the divine voice of God? I don’t lean to either opinion, since I can’t speculate on the matter, but it is definitely strange and disturbing to think about.  We wonder what all this evil means, we might even accept that it’s all the suffering of the world comes down to our evil doing, our evil being which is inherent within us all, but we simply can’t accept all the seemingly meaningless cruelty of it all, we can’t come to grips with the bare facts of life. These thoughts can cripple us and resistance comes back in a big way, along with its brother fear and many more cousins who aren’t playing around with your sanity. These little troublemakers might have you questioning things like ‘what’s the use of enjoying our own lives as millions of others suffer?’ As we live, others die, often from unjust causes, from political corruption and murder, but more so from corruptions of the human mind, from a loss of control over one’s own genocidal emotions. One man without the proper restraint on his own destructive emotions is a potential danger to everyone around him and even for many generations to follow him. How are we not guaranteed not to go astray if we are influence by hatred and distrust for life? Self-control is key, both to fighting resistance, and to controlling what we create once we beat it. A word, a deed, a piece of art, or of literature — these are all realities which we bring to life from the creative and collective unconscious. We are all projecting our realities onto any and every external object we come into contact with, we see things and smell things and feel things according to our own specific reality throughout our lifespan on this earth, during this incarnation. We think we all share the same senses, and indeed we do, but truly there are never-ending sets of variations of these senses. But is there more to these senses that we believe we know and trust? I for one think we should all try to answer this question truthfully to ourselves, before we ever decide that life is completely senseless.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 16.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 4: Morality, the Origins of Good and Evil.

Yesterday I brought up a conversation which I had with my grandparents the other day, which got me thinking about the nature of God and life, as well as death, and faith. They have faith in Jesus, they are devout Christians. I have faith in God, but I’m not sure who or what God is, and I have a great willingness to learn, and to go wherever the truth leads me. I think that, no matter what else we might believe about God, the one thing we can be sure about is that God represents good. The good that we feel within us is proof to me that there is a greater good which has created us, which dwells within us. Evil is simply the ignorance of this good within us, of our intuition. So where does the feeling of morality come from? We might steal every day, we might kill a a million men, but we will never escape from the knowledge that we are in the wrong, that we are not acting out of love but out of ruthless selfishness, and that therefore we are not living life right. We can indeed ignore this inner voice and convince ourselves that what we’re doing isn’t wrong, but it can never go away completely. The real Self within us knows the truth; it is that part of us which comes from, or is a part of, God. When we get really good at following our every desire on our search for pleasure, we might become confused and think that the voice of intuition has gone away, that we have escaped it, but we have just gotten better at drowning it out in all the accumulated noise in our heads, all the random garbage we’ve accumulated over time. Our conscience will haunt us non-stop if we choose to lead lives that go against it. I believe our intuition is divine. Again, I’m not exactly sure of who or what God is, but I believe that God exists, since I can feel love within me, and goodness. I have seen that love is what is needed in order for two people to connect in a relationship and then to procreate and raise their children in a proper manner. It is obvious that love leads to life, and that the act of sex, or making love, and of bearing children is a physical as well as spiritual representation of this. A physical body is produced and grows within the mother, and a soul inhabits it as it comes to life. The whole thing is too perfect to be a coincidence, in my honest opinion, too beautiful and too advanced to be a product of random mutations over millions of years. Good comes from God, life comes from the unity created by love, life therefore comes from God. It is almost completely clear for me. But what about evil? This has always bothered me. The duality of this life is the obvious answer to this. But why this dual nature in the first place? Is it as the Kabbalah teaches, that we were separated from God and this world was created out of that endless desire to reconnect with the Godhead? Is it the devil that’s at work in our planet? Is this a world of pain, is it a life of suffering as the Buddha taught? I would say that it is. It is obvious that, although there is abundant love in the world, there is also a tremendous amount of evil and suffering. I think it has something to do with the story of Adam and Eve, when they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. It might mean they were not human, and that the fall represents a lowering of consciousness, the creation of this world, working the land, producing children in pain. I think that, although this duality is a part of life, good is ultimately higher than the good and bad of duality. The good of duality is not complete good, since there is always a little circle of evil within it. The same goes for evil, we often have sincere and honest reasons for doing evil, whether it is stealing so that our children can eat, or lying in order not to offend someone or break their heart. This is a world of duality, the Principle of Polarity is in effect, and everything is connected to its opposite, it is different only in degree. Above this, however, there is a greater good, a good untouched by ignorance and therefore uncontaminated by evil. I think this is the good that we connect with when we realize we are spiritual beings on this planet, that we have a higher nature, a divine nature that comes directly from God, an intuition which can lead the way through life. I think that Jesus’ death on the cross, assuming he is not God, is an amazing example for us all of how to live as human beings. It might have been that Jesus was indeed the Messiah, chosen by God for the specific mission of showing us in such an astonishing manner that we have to embrace all the suffering and the injustice of this life, including the inevitable fact of death, and that we have to transmute it into goodness. We have to accept the suffering that comes with doing the right thing, with fulfilling our mission on this planet. So many of us go through life ignoring our intuition, doing whatever pleases us the most at any given moment, never doing the right thing since it might affect our comfortable lifestyle. It may be true that what I’m saying is just another belief system, although most of the greatest mystical orders believe this as well, but even if it is just a belief system, it matters more than “knowing” who the absolute God is and attempting to impart that belief onto others. So many people are at war nowadays because of their belief in a specific religion, a specific God which they believe to be better than the rest. So many people have superiority complexes and look down upon everyone else, since they are not yet “saved” and are unaware that they will spend eternity in hell. So many people are so obsessed with a specific God and religion that they have no idea of the intuition which is within them. Is it more important to worship Jesus, or Buddha, or to follow in their examples, extending good to our fellow human beings wherever we may go, and sharing all the love and compassion available within us? I think the latter is something which cannot be ignored while we are on a search for life’s bigger meanings. Don’t get lost in a religion, or in an ideology, to the point where you feel higher than everyone else, where you only help because you feel pity for other people.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 5.

~ Rebel Spirit.