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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 73: Use Your Talents to Shine A Light.

Life’s about sacrifice, you gotta put in work because people’s hearts have grown cold as ice. No one is obligated to lend a helping hand, so don’t expect anyone to understand. But the trick is to not grow bitter and cold, even as we constantly witness the wicked ways in which life in this world unfolds. The point is to take a true hold of your own soul, to put the mind under the Spirit’s authority. We have all been blessed with skills and talents, with intelligence and wisdom, which we can use to bless, others as well as ourselves, to exert the will to progress, but too many of us have our gifts sitting on the shelves. We all have the ability to think and then to express, creatively, whether in poetry, lyrics, music, art, spoken word, to be true to who we were meant to be, and nothing less. Speak your mind and stand for what’s right, though it might shake up your whole world, possibly overnight. Stand by your word. Be who and what you claim to be, always take the high road, up high as a kite, fly forever free. Have the courage to follow the highest vision you see, to create what you conceive. Be a beautiful light, shining bright for what you believe, the brightest star shining on this blessed summer night. It is said that those who wish to give light must first burn. Take up your cross and sacrifice your physical self on it. Kill your attachments to earthly pleasures, especially those which harm others and cause suffering in the world. The right thing won’t always be the easiest one, or the most pleasant one, but we can’t possibly ignore what’s right and expect a good outcome. Recognize the wrong way and turn around to run. I thank those who paved the way for me, and I hope to do the same for generations to follow me, for years, for decades and centuries on, the legacy of everything we do lives on, we live forever even after we’re gone. So know that this is not the end, this misery nor this joy. There is more significance in every second of every day than we care to realize. I don’t know which is the right religion, but I do know that all of us are battling a spiritual war, so we were born with a mission. We all are meant to be, essentially, an example of righteous living, of unconditional care, of charity and selfless giving. Stop all the hate, leave the past behind and recreate, forgive and forget, leave behind every grudge as well as every regret, love for love’s sake. Be thankful for every friend, and even every enemy you’ve ever met. There are no enemies, have no fear for real or fake. Life has placed these people on our path, so that we may come to know what it’s like, to experience hate, pain, separation, rage, wrath. We had to know these things to come to know that they are not us. We are the consciousness on which these emotions, these thoughts and feelings appear, quickly fading away like dust, remain calm and watch them disappear. Let your mind rest, feel at ease, peace of mind is like a soothing breeze, close your eyes and meditate, elevate, feel the unity between you and everything that’s ever been, yet know that the source of you is something so great, that the angels are your kin. How were you conceived and born? How can you speak and connect with others, how can you understand concepts such as love and mutual respect? Life is filled of meaning, but it’s up to us to detect. So leave behind any notions of insecurity, of not being or having enough, stand proud and erect, if you woke up today there’s no excuse to feel like a wreck. Whatever you did, leave it behind and give yourself a chance. Life is in constant movement, so we have to jump in and dance. Roll with the rhythm, with discernment, don’t worry about the past or the future, everything will pass, everything is temporary, and everything is just as necessary. Be humble, understand that God dwells within your brother, within all others, and we all will one day decompose in a cemetery. The heavenly and material aspects of our nature each go their own way once death arrives, each from where it came, each continuing in changing, in transforming, after having gone back to the source, ascending and descending, coming down after they rise. Therefore there is no death, be free of guilt, and understand you have a new birth, a new chance at life, with every breath. Ignorance is the problem, none of us know this. We desperately run around trying to get ahead, we think there will be nothing left of us once we’re dead. Worldly success means everything, we can’t wait to get a taste of the satisfaction the money and the fame will bring. And what if the dream doesn’t  true? It doesn’t happen for so many others so why should it work out for you? Will you cry and complain, will you wish you were never born, will you speak curses upon yourself, upon your life, or life in general, screaming in pain? Identify with the real inside of you. Be the Spirit, don’t rely on anything on this planet. Analyze the nature of things, understand and plan it. Whatever you’re doing, sacrifice what holds you back. You know what it is, and if you haven’t let it go yet, it’s because you’re hooked on it like crack. The real You needs nothing to survive, spiritually, it only needs to be aware in order to be alive. Adversity is nothing to the real Self, it thrives off of challenges, your talents are your tools, use them for the glory of what’s good, don’t follow the crowd like a fool. Life is a process of constant learning, but one day we’re all sure to graduate, just like from any other school.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 74.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 70: The Mysteries of Life and Writing.

70 days into this writing goal, every day writing a thousand words and posting them on here. I’m not sure of what my purpose for this goal actually is, but I’m glad it’s become a daily habit to write. I wish I enjoyed it more though, since sometimes it seems like just one more goal I have to complete before midnight. I think what might be missing still is organization. I have to find a way to organize my ideas, and to plan certain days to write about certain ideas. So far I’ve just been randomly writing every day, going off whatever comes to mind when I sit down to write. I have a feeling that, maybe if I just write enough, maybe if I write consistently, every day, eventually I might create a masterpiece, something which people might read and really feel inspired. I feel so much significance in life, things connect in my head and I am in awe at the way in which life interacts with life. Over the past few years it’s become really overwhelming, so I’ve started to try to get things written down, but for some reason so many things which I want to express are hard to get into words. I guess it’s expected when one is constantly learning about spirituality and philosophy, but I hope I can start to get my ideas across a bit clearer soon. The most important idea that I want to get across to people is that, even if we don’t know the answers to all of life’s mysteries, even if we feel that life is meaningless at times, or worse, that it’s evil and cruel, we are only a part of life, each one of us, so we are in no position to decipher what everything in life means. Do you consider yourself evil? No? What about perfect and good in every way? That’s not you either right? We are all making up life, life includes us, so we can’t separate ourselves from it in order to ever examine it properly. Life is what happens to us every day, but life is also everything that happens without us, far away from us, every single day. Since we are not God, and we are not the creators of life, we must assume a position of humility. Too many of us associate humility with weakness, with being soft and allowing others to walk all over us. Humility is an attitude towards life. Someone who is humble has no need to justify his or her belief or to have others believe it. We can all use our sense of discernment to find what works best for us in our lives, what is right and what is wrong conduct, but humility means that we shouldn’t attempt to force others to live as we do. We can offer wise advice when we see our friends and family struggling, but we must understand that we are all free to live the life we have been blessed with. The reason I want to get this message across through my writing is because, once we understand this, that we are interconnected with life and that it is much deeper than it often seems, then we will be more likely to try to come to a fuller understanding of it. The person who, in his or her arrogance, thinks that his belief system is all there is to know, and that he has figured it all out, that life can be fully explained by any one religion or philosophy, has closed himself off from ever reaching higher truth. Humility is the first step towards properly living life. Once we assume a humble attitude towards life, then we are free to live, to interact, to understand. This is why I write, because, even though I do not have all the answers to life, at least I accept and understand that. I can write without pretending to have it all figured out, as a real person with real thoughts, trying to live a real life. I don’t know what will happen with my writing. I don’t know who will read it, or why, or what thoughts will pop into each reader’s mind as they read this, but I write because I know that life is made of connections, and that we must do what we have to do, even as we face uncertainty. Should I stop writing because I don’t know what will ultimately come of it, or even why I’m doing it at times? Of course not. We have to keep on moving in the face of uncertainty, and we have to keep on learning, on wondering, on connecting the dots of life, even if we are facing adversity, even if it seems like it isn’t worth moving on. Life is mysterious, and knowing that, really feeling that mysterious quality of life within myself, all the unknown potential which lies within every human being, has really sparked a flame in me, to read, to write, to share information so that whoever may read it may be inspired in some positive way. I started out this post with no idea of what I would write, and I even started writing my own answers to my own question down. Why don’t I enjoy writing more? I answered that I had to have more organization. However, once I got to writing I had more and more ideas, and now I’m not sure how I even ended up on this sentence, writing about what I’m currently writing about, about how life is so wonderful and mysterious. The point is that it just happened somehow, that something real which was on my mind was successfully transmitted into words for you all, and that now there’s no going back, all because I decided to just give it a go. Things are bound to happen in life, no matter what, and if we try to live with humility, we can try to understand and learn more about the things that happen in life and why, and we can learn to use those things in order to have better things happen in the future. Everything’s a mystery, so we might as well try and figure it out. we never know where life will take us, but it is sure to take us somewhere. Stop pretending to know everything, stop pretending that you know where you’re going. Be humble, seek help from those who know, and try to learn and understand, and then to put into practice.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 71.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 69: Persevere Through Life’s Hardships.

Times are always hard for many people around the globe. If things are going well for one person, someone else’s world appears to be crumbling down. We all can be sure that, if we are not struggling now, we will have to struggle at some point in the future. We will be afflicted by numerous struggles throughout our lives, but we mustn’t allow our anxiety to take control. We have to stand firm and face the reality we find ourselves in, even when suffering seems totally meaningless, existence nothing more than a cruel cosmic joke we find ourselves trapped in. We wish that the existential enemy we face would just vanish in a second like a cloud of smoke floating away with the breeze, when we need to accept it instead, to witness it without fear, with a calm and collected mind, and to dive deep into it in order to understand it. We have to learn not only to live with uncertainty, but to love it, to thrive in the face of adversity, prepared to stand firm before any possibilities, to have the attitude and the strength which are essential in order to overcome any obstacles in our way. As we sit and worry about the future or cry about the past, we waste precious time, we complain instead of finding a way to change, to make a change in the areas of our life which need changing. We sit around, miserable, consuming carcinogenic chemicals, smoking and drinking, doing hard drugs, disease and death slowly entering our system, then we blame the world, or God, for all sorts of illnesses. We’re slowly committing suicide to show those who don’t care to listen to our problems just how angry we are, we seek attention but we never ask for help, yet we can’t stand still without attempting to annihilate ourselves in some slow way. Life seems unfair to us, and we begin to drown in our own distorted mentality, our thoughts become the voice of anxiety, constantly haunting us, even in our sleep, in dreams. We have to stay busy since we’ve created a constant cloud of stress in our minds, so we can’t be at rest even when we lie in bed at the end of the day. We can’t sit in silence, no matter what we do, we can’t find peace since the noise is all inside our heads, it follows us around everywhere we go. We are only harming ourselves in the end, not the society we try to pin the blame on. No one is responsible for your life, no one can steer it in the right direction or make the changes you need to make for yourself. You whine that life is too hard, that the system is corrupt, that you were born into poverty or dealt a shit hand from the beginning. These are all excuses, your life is no harder than it’s meant to be. If you are facing some problem then it’s because you have the power within yourself to persevere and to push through that problem.  Anger and discontent with life have us unconsciously seeking to take revenge on society, yet succeeding at harming no one more than ourselves. Why worry about death if we feel we’re already in hell? But we fail to see the blessing, the option to learn a lesson from everything we experience. In the pessimist’s eyes, everything is void, empty with no meaning, but that’s exactly why you must give meaning to your own life, by taking responsibility for it. The ultimate meaning of life? Don’t waste the days away wondering about absolute truth, the truth is in every task you haven’t completed, or in every rhyme you haven’t laid down in the booth, if I’m speaking to myself, in every thought I haven’t gotten down on this page just yet. Do what needs to be done, and stop wishing for another task. If you want a better future, you should have lived a different past. But alas, nothing lasts. Is it too painful to bear? Or is this the greatest, most liberating truth that we could ever share? Everything is nothing, nothing is all. Goodness is all that exists, the image of God is the human blueprint. God dwells in the temple, all we need to do is enter the holy vessel we’ve been blessed with from birth. We shouldn’t ignore it, or neglect it, we should value it for what it’ worth. Look at the truth in front of your eyes! Love your wife, hug your mother, bless your brother, be there for one another, respect and learn from your father. Even if they’re not the best of parents, we all can learn a lesson from the family we enter the world into. A lot of us are born into first hand experience of why we shouldn’t do some of the horrible things we shouldn’t do. Why do you suffer and not I? Why do I suffer and not you now? It is irrelevant, since we are all bound to suffer during this human lifetime. We are all one, we are all laughing in the now, just as we are all crying in agony. Everything present, we are being born and dying. Nothing lasts forever, except the One Spirit which returns to the source. Call it what you like, but it’s attributes are love and wisdom. Seek affinity with this higher power and you cannot be led astray. Do what you know to be right, and cherish every single day, live it to the fullest. Because nothing lasts forever, seasons change with the weather. Life stages, each is a flip through our lifetime’s pages. We grow old and get sick and wonder what age is. But don’t be dragged down with your body, remain grounded, courage is contagious. Face the pain, face the tragedy with all the strength within you, and it just might become a comedy. Trust in the highest power within you, yet be humble and have faith, and the pain will pass. Pleasure passes, pain passes, but what is eternal, everlasting within each of us, will endure forever.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 64: Being Free of External Opinions.

What does it take, to be free of others opinions, to truly be oneself, yet to remain grounded in reason? What would it feel like, to be able to do everything with complete certainty, with zero insecurity, knowing that we’re not making a grave mistake? What if we knew the way, if we knew each and every step we needed to take? I have a feeling that life would seem just a bit controlled, kind of fake. Should we embrace insecurity, doubt, fear? These things are what keep us alert, but we cant’ give in to either one of them. Nothing can harm us when we are truly grounded, even further beyond than reason, but if we are not, then these things are bound to paralyze us. The way others wish we would live our lives, what society expects of us, what parents or relatives, brothers or significant others want us to do, who they would like us to be. Great expectations which at times we have no desire to even attempt to live up to. Yet the nagging feeling persists, the anxiety, the constant indecision that makes something inside our bellies twist, when we face a big decision. But what if we could embrace it, then we might just be able to use it to our advantage. If we can master fear, if we can truly learn to trust the process of life, then we might just find that we have enough peace of mind, enough motivation, enough concentration, in order to think things through, in order to get things done, in order to see things more clearly. As long as we are drowning in our fears, of events of the past that still manage to haunt us, of future possibilities for tragedy, for chaos. We fear change, we fear death, we fear people and the things they say and do, what they think of us, what they might do to us. What if we were free of all preconceived notions about people and what they might be thinking, what their ulterior motives might be, and about what the world is and how it should be? Could we live healthier lives, would there be less people who can’t cope with the stress of life in modern society? Could there be less mental as well as physical illness? We can’t ever find peace in life and we often wonder why, but most of the time what we’re missing is just honesty, sincerity, the courage to be totally honest with ourselves. We can’t do this because we are terrified of change, especially the positive kind. We are afraid to look within and to face our demons, so we pass the time, and we never bother to even try to understand what life is all about, to wonder about who or what we are as a species, what our collective purpose might be for existing, or what your own individual purpose or mission might be. We want things to be easy, but life isn’t easy. We can’t avoid the hardships of life, we can only prepare for them. This doesn’t mean that life is evil, that the world is a hostile place, but it does mean that we have to remain as aware as possible at all times, that we have to stay alert. We have to keep a constant watch for the evil within ourselves, so that we may practice the necessary self-restraint in order to live a balanced life, in order to allow others to do the same, and to speak nothing but life to whoever we encounter. If we fear the opinions of others, if we fear the possibilities of being ridiculed, of being persecuted, then we cannot speak our minds. If we are not aware of what the truth is, if we do not have a code to live by, if we don’t have the smallest idea of who or what we are or what we stand for, what we agree with or not, what we allow into our lives, then life will carry us this way and that way, into trouble here, into problems there, and we will complain and wonder why it all seems to happen to us. We never stood up for anything in our lives, we never bothered to try, to find a meaning to life, or to create one. We gave up, we gave in to temptation, to laziness, to discouragement, we never bothered to make things make sense, or to find the inherent sense in the events of our lives. Another mistake some people make however, is that they think that are free of others opinions, and they think they are being themselves, but in reality the only reason why they feel free to be themselves is because their identity revolves around being funny or cracking jokes, or doing things that make them popular in the eyes of others, whether those things are correct or not. Such a person often disregards morality and acts in evil ways in order to impress others, or to fit in, or to prove to others how crazy or cool they are. In time, these people start to identify with the image they are attempting to portray, and they start to believe that they truly are that image. If they ever tried to look within themselves and tried to live by the principles they would find in their hearts then they would find it a lot more difficult to be free in the world. The world seldom wants the truth, it often wants only what is comfortable. People want to hear what they want to hear, they want to be distracted, they want to be entertained. Who can be bothered with the truth in this day and age of transitory pleasures? What purpose can the truth serve when all we want is to be comfortable in the lies we’ve fabricated? It’s a sad state to be in, and we all must be honest with ourselves about whether this is the way we are living or not, and if so, then we must each find a way to rise above this mentality.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 65.

~ Rebel Spirit 

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 40: Stay Awake.

Stay awake until the final second, until my head falls and takes my body along with it, the movement waking me in mid-air just in time to save me from cracking my head on the floor or the edge of the table. Sometimes we stay up just to stay up, just to keep time ticking, to feel like it’s still going. We can’t simply call it a day and head to bed, or take twenty minutes to analyze our day and then head to sleep. We have time for everything other than order though. We fall asleep and we don’t remember what time we fell at sleep at, since we were already half asleep while we were still doing things, still surfing the net, nodding off. Why are we always searching for more? Why can’t we be at peace, even in our own rooms? A crazy, constant search for stimulation, a lack of appreciation of what we already have, an inability to slow down and enjoy the little things, to explore the wonders all around us. When I was younger and still living with my parents I would often come home and shut myself in my room, reading about all sorts of cool places and things to do around the world, wishing I could be somewhere else. Now, even though I absolutely love living with my wife and being independent from my parents, I do miss our moments together at my old home, all the great times we had growing up, and the great times that could have been, had I appreciated what I had. It’s sad to see it happen, yet it’s a common pattern of behavior, that as young children grow into adolescence, they become so caught up in social life, in peer pressure, in keeping up an image, in being with so-called friends at all times, always out and about, that they forget about their parents and how things used to be between them. Children’s impulsive behavior can lead them to act in risky ways, in ways that might make it seem like they don’t appreciate their parents’ dedication towards them, and it is precisely because they are growing up and feeling like they belong, like they are popular, or that their reputation is now at stake, depending on everything they do or don’t do, every event they attend or miss out on. In a teenager’s world, everyone wants to be in on everything, and it is also like this in the world of anyone who lives off of other’s impressions and ideas about them. Too many people live lives of fear, they require certain things, certain conditions to be met, during every interaction or social situation, in order to feel like they belong, in order to feel secure about who they are what they are trying to represent. People don’t know who they are, they know about their inner chaos very well, yet they haven’t taken the time to analyze it and to understand it, they haven’t done the work, and have preferred to run from it instead. Self-analysis is tough love, self-love, self-care to the highest degree. When we can be honest with ourselves, that means we have a loyal friend who we can probably trust, probably something like ninety-nine percent of the time (we all lie to ourselves sometimes, even in the smallest matters). If we can’t come to terms with all the aspects of who we are then we are forever destined to look for external meaning to no avail. Your life’s meaning can never, will never, be found externally, in some group or some organization, in becoming something new, in doing something new, in acquiring some new possession. Only you can do the necessary work, can go through the inner process, which will allow you to submit who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, to the divine will, and to trust and have faith in the process, doing your best and expecting the best out of every situation, especially every bad one. Only then will you find peace. Other than in this divine peace, there is nothing else which is peaceful outside of it. We are always searching for a high, for a thrill, for a stimulus to respond to. There is a space between stimulus and response, as Viktor Frankl stated, yet very few of us are familiar with it. In many cases we respond before the stimulus has even finished taking it effect on us. We always want more, we want to hear more, not necessarily to listen more, but then we want to talk even more, much more than we want to hear. We all believe in something, we all want others to believe in the same thing, so that others might be saved, so that others might come to know the truth, so that they may escape suffering. But we are all neurotic, we are all constantly on the move because we can’t really stand the truth, we can’t stand the silence, and the pain of solitude, we can’t stand being stripped away of all that makes our identity, of all that seems to make us who we are. We are not prepared to stand naked in the face of adversity, in the face of others, in the face of our own higher selves. We are all imperfect, sinners if that’s what we wish to call ourselves, we have missed the mark. We have all fallen victim to temptation, to the Satan within ourselves, to the little devil on our shoulder. We have all placed our own pleasure above whatever was the right thing to do at the time, we have all considered taking revenge, or have in fact taken revenge, against someone who has seemingly harmed us. Indeed, many can attempt to harm us, and it will seem as if they have succeeded. They can succeed in harming us, for we cannot control the actions of a criminal, or a murderer, yet whether they succeed in robbing us of our inner peace is completely up to us. For this reason, we must stay awake at all times, alert to what may possibly be the cause of our downfall, if left unchecked. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 41.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 34: Why Do You Write?

How can we speak our minds about the most important subjects affecting our world today? People seem to get offended by everything, everyone’s statements need to be politically correct. If you don’t agree with the majority then there’s something wrong with you, or you’re branded an enemy of society, of freedom, of equality. Sometimes we’re afraid to really get down to business, so we write about trivial things that barely matter in real life. We all look for distractions to help us escape the harsh reality of life on this planet, but should writers write in order to provide that distraction, or rather to wake their readers up and alert them that they better leave the distractions alone and see what’s really going on before it’s too late? Is it a writer’s responsibility to bring awareness to the issues that are affecting his world? I don’t necessarily think so. Everyone is free to choose what they really want from their life or career, and if people want to get lost in a book about distractions then there should be writers to provide them. Distractions will always be a necessity for people, to avoid facing the truth about certain issues, both in our personal lives and in our world as a whole. Writing, being a creative activity, can be used for many different things. A writer isn’t obligated to write about current events and problems, or about what we can do, or should do, to solve them, but even if we aren’t obligated to write about these things, we would really be elevating our art if we choose to do so. We shouldn’t do it in a cynical manner, or in a negative or offensive way, we should simply state the facts and offer a solution when one seems possible. Bringing awareness to only problems is doing nothing but making people angry, creating distrust among all people, tension and more disagreement. If we can offer a solution however, then we are really in a position to make big changes happen in society, if not now then maybe in the long run, at some point in the future. We can all do great things during our lifetime, yet we don’t all make the right decisions in order to make wonderful changes happen. Something we are all able to do though, at any point, is to write down our noblest thoughts and to share them with others. Ideas that are truly godly have a way of enduring, their very truth ensures that they will be passed on from generation to generation, and that they may even inspire entire movements of people to create organizations and institutions. Even if we don’t see things change much during our own lifetimes, the words we write down are able to transcend time and to create a real revolution in the future. We don’t need to be masters of the English language in order to get some ideas down on paper, or on a computer, or even on a cell phone. I bet that so many authors from the past had no clue that their work would still be studied today by thousands of people, even thousands of years after they wrote them. Marcus Aurelius’s ‘Meditations’, for example, was simply a collection of personal notes he had written to himself. These words were then found and published, and we have access to various different translations of them today. I myself have been inspired by so many ancient texts, and it’s incredible to think that there is real understanding between myself and someone who lived thousands of years before me, in a different culture at a different time in history, under much different conditions than my own. This shows me that truth and reason will never die, that the same truths that the ancients were well aware of are perceptible to us even today, and that it can and should be transmitted to the people of tomorrow, so that they may recognize truth as well when they read it, thereby becoming inspired to find the truth within themselves. The sayings of Buddha are so similar to those of Jesus, who lived about six hundred years earlier, and many of the great Greek philosophers wrote great passages which help us comprehend much of the philosophy we know today. Wisdom from the past has been essential to keeping truth alive in the hearts of many people, even in our modern day society which makes it so hard to connect with truth. We as writers have the power to inspire generations even thousands of years after we die. If we get no recognition for our great work during our earthly life then so be it, at least we will create a better world for the people of the future. We should let go of our attachment to the fruits of labor anyway and practice Karma Yoga, consecrating all our work, our writing, to God, to the greatest power in the universe, the source of it all. We can never go wrong when we do this, and understanding that we are working for the Supreme Being, we automatically feel the responsibility to convey truth in our work in any way we can. We know that words truly can create life or death, and we understand that the decision is ours. We have to remain rooted in that power which we write for, we need to disconnect from the fears and doubts of our petty personality, and we need to write what needs to be written, we need to speak what needs to be spoken. Truth is essential to life, for life without truth cannot truly be called life, it is the worse kind of death there can be, spiritual death. So I urge all of you writers, write about what you find interesting, about what you love, but always be on the look-out for ways in which you can incorporate truth into your material. Think of the thoughts that your words may conjure up in people’s minds, are they thoughts of life, or of death, of love or of hate, will they help to rebuild our planet, or are they words of destruction? The ability to write and effectively convey ideas is a divine gift, don’t waste it, use it to your maximum potential.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 34.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 33: Still Sick and Wondering Why.

Still feeling sick. I think I really gotta get to the hospital soon to be honest, since every day I seem to feel the same thing. The strange thing is that, all day today I felt no symptoms. I felt great a lot of the time, I was finally able to help customers out with a good attitude over the phone. The past few days I’d had to disconnect myself since I felt no drive to speak with the customers, and also the air conditioner was way too cold for me to endure. I just went and sat outside and listened to a few songs before a mild headache started. Today everything was fine during the morning, and even while I was at work. When I got home everything was alright also, then I started feeling a bit cold, even though only the fan is on. I undoubtedly have a fever now, although it isn’t as severe as other days. This weak feeling makes my eyes burn every once in a while, and I really thought that today would be the day when I’d fail my goal of writing a thousand words a day. I dropped down on my bed for a while with Maria by my side, both comfortable and happy to be home from work. As we talked about a lot of things, that’s when my fever began to start. We ate, and read a Bible chapter of Ezra, the book we’re currently on. The only goals left to do are my writing and my twenty-minute meditation. I usually meditate in the mornings since Maria goes in to work before me, although we come home at the same time. Today I didn’t meditate at that time since i was completely absorbed by my reading of Huxley’s ‘The Perennial Philosophy.’ I also read today’s sutra on mindfulness of breathing. So most of my morning consisted of reading. I took out the trash as well, since the garbage truck comes by the house today. It comes by three days of the week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so we gotta remember to take out the trash on each of those days so it doesn’t accumulate. I ate some oatmeal in the morning also, which I prepared with honey, cold water and a bit of cinnamon. I’ve been trying to eat healthier to see if I can catch up on some of the nutrients and vitamins I may be missing, maybe that’s the reason for this illness I’ve been experiencing. What really motivated me to write right now, to not lose the goal no matter how I may be feeling, was something which I mentioned during the conversation I just had in bed with Maria. I mentioned that, if I continue writing every single day, when I’m older, even elderly, I will be able to look back on my thoughts during different stages of my development, and I will be able to learn from my past ideas and thoughts, to change what is necessary, and to remind myself of the useful things I’ve jotted down throughout the years. So, instead of allowing my fever to hold me back from continuing my goal which I’ve worked so diligently on for thirty plus days now, I decided to just write about it. The reason I wasn’t feeling like writing is because, with this illness and this feeling of weakness, I thought I couldn’t use my brain to come up with anything worth writing. I didn’t let resistance beat me though, and I’m proud of myself for it, as well as of my beautiful wife who motivated me with her understanding and caring conversation. If nothing deep comes from tonight’s piece then I apologize, since all you’ll get to read is some of my confusion about this sickness which has taken over me recently, which I have no clue what it is. I haven’t gone to the doctor since I’m scared of some bad news, although I don’t have much reason to believe that anything is seriously wrong with me. It’s mostly just fear with no reality behind it, and so Maria has been urging me to go to the doctor so I can at least find out the cause of my almost daily fevers. I think the time is coming, I’ll have to put my fear aside in order to face the truth of the matter. Since I thought it might be due to the fact that I’ve been eating less than I used to over the last year or so, I thought I could get better by simply eating more and healthier, but in all honesty it’s better to be sure of the problem. I’m feeling better now that I’m writing, and also I feel I’m more at peace with the fact that my writing won’t always be super profound and inspirational. I feel like I can finally accept that sometimes we just write for the sake of writing, and that there’s nothing wrong with that. To anyone who’s feeling any symptoms of illness, please do not ignore them! Go seek a professional who knows what’s going on. It might be too late later if you don’t realize it now. Hopefully this isn’t my case, I pray to God that I’m able to remain healthy and continue to enjoy life with my amazing wife. Also, I’ve been trying to remain grounded as much as possible in God, in the holiness within me, which is within us all, the Spirit which is beyond all duality, beyond all pleasure and pain, and which cannot be broken by any illness. To remain connected with this power is easier said than done, yet it is within our grasp, all of us humans can find this within us, if we are serious about it and are willing to put our attachments and aversions aside, and to be thankful and trust the process of life. Everything is part of life, including suffering and death, and if we can’t cultivate the right attitude regarding these facts of life, we are bound to always suffer much, much more than we need to. So I’m hoping for the best, but I’m also working on my mentality and strength of spirit so I can be ready for whatever news I receive.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 34.

~ Rebel Spirit 

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 31: Writing Meditation Attempt.

I sit at home tonight, trying to get a thousand words together for my blog. Maria’s talking on the phone with her friend, I’m still a bit sick, but she’s been taking care of me. Today was her day off from work, so at least we had all morning together before I had to leave to the call center in the afternoon. She got a lot of clothes washed while I was at work, and when I got back from work I let her know how much I appreciate everything she does for us, since everything is done with love. On the 15th of July we’ll be celebrating two years of marriage together. We moved into this little place right when we got married, a small, separate house on my grandparents’ property. We have some photos of our wedding on the tables, some 3D stickers both us have collected are on the walls, and in the room mainly we have some inspirational quotes, spiritual and philosophical, from Jung to Jesus to Buddh, from the Bible to the Bhagavad Gita and James Allen’s ‘As A Man Thinketh.’ Motivation is something I can’t be without, and these quotes provide just that for me. I just look at a random one and read it sometimes when I’m in our room. I’m sitting on my bed right now, the table is right by the bed. This table was previously used as a counter at my grandparent’s pharmacy which they owned many years ago, I believe, so it has some pharmaceutical stickers still on it. I got the tray with my own medicine on top of the counter, or table I’m breaking down some bud and I’m at peace while I chill in my room. Maria talks, I write. I appreciate the silence, and I speak with myself in a way, just as everyone speaks to themselves all the time. What’s the difference between a writer and an ordinary person though? They are both ordinary human beings, but why does one decide to write? Is it because one has something to say? Often we don’t even know what to say, yet we know there is something we want to say. Are we just egocentric, that we wish to communicate, as if we had something to say, when there’s actually nothing worth speaking? I don’t think this last option is the right one, I believe we all have something important to say to everyone we meet. These interactions don’t happen sometimes, these possibly healing experiences, these connections between people, because we are closed off from people, by our judgments and insecurities. Anyway, I’m just drifting off on a thought train again. What I was previously trying to do was just describe the moment I’m in, this writing experience. Stoned, comfortable, finally feeling alright since I took an acetaminophen pill and took some bong hits about an hour ago. Speaking of connections that simply happen, and of things that just need to be said, I’m glad for the connection that led to our marriage. Maria and I were watching the Morgan Freeman documentary on Netflix a few hours ago, ‘The Story of God’. He doesn’t go too deep into most religions, at least so far into the show, two episodes in. However, he does a great job of showing the basics of most religions and shows us some spectacular scenery from sacred sites around the world. If he did get into too much detail with each belief system there just might not have been much of an audience, I guess. It’s interesting though, and I think that anything that provides us with further understanding of other cultures and their practices is a great tool, a tool to fight the ignorance and fear that arises when we don’t respect, or when we fear and hate, other people’s customs and beliefs. Nothing is all black or white in this dual existence, everything has a lot of dimensions to it. Most of us are ignorant of our own culture, so what about those of other people around the world? We’ve got to escape our personal bubbles of arrogance, of attachment to our own ideas and aversion towards those of others. We lose nothing if it turns out we were wrong, we only grow in understanding. There is nothing to fear from learning about the ways other people do things. We shouldn’t pretend to be sure about things we don’t know, only to close ourselves off from all ways of ever finding an answer. We believe we know, yet we know nothing for certain. Society’s backwards, our bodies are all out of shape, infested with disease. No ease can be found in the way we do things, we do all things the hard way, including learning. We are never at ease, so our faces grow wrinkled, a face of anger permanently portrayed on us. We think this is all there is, suffering and then death. We can’t see the big picture, we think we are strong, we think we run the world, we think we’re reaching the top of the pyramid. In reality we’re weak, we’re afraid of sacrifice and afraid of pain, we’re afraid of facing our demons, so we’d rather unleash them on those around us. We don’t want to change, we want to allow our lower nature to drag us right down to hell. We’ve got to get out of our heads, we’ve got to say what needs to be said, we need to make the correct connections, guided by our intuition. You know what I’m talking about, you know what the right thing is. Stop fucking around and do it, stop making excuses and do it! I don’t know if there’s an overall point to tonight’s piece, since I tried to make it a meditation by describing the things that surround me, the set of what’s going on, yet I always drifted away into thoughts and ideas. I’m at the end so I hope I knew what to say, and I hope it perhaps can inspire someone, as so many great passages have inspired, and continue to inspire, me. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 32.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 21: Family Fun, Living in the Moment, Huxley’s “Island.”

I’m at Maria’s family’s house for the day. Her brother Luis picked us up at home last night and brought us here. Whenever we come we bring some pizza and everyone has a great pizza dinner, everyone talking in a lively manner, some on the computer, some on their phones, but everyone interacting. Although my own immediate family (parents and brothers) are back in Canada, it’s great to have a second family here in Honduras, apart from my grandparents and uncles, etc. Everyone’s been very welcoming during this past year and a half that I’ve been married to Maria, and from what they say as well as how they behave towards me, I can tell they consider me part of their family. Maria’s little brother Kevin is about to complete the sixth grade, and his last week of school is coming up, final exams and everything. Here in Honduras, seventh grade is the first year of high school, so finishing the sixth is a big deal. We watched the second Iron Man movie in the morning, Maria, Kevin and I, and now we’re just taking a break from having studied the past few hours. So far we’ve reviewed some math and some grammar. It’s great to help this little guy learn, and I hope I can be as positive an influence as possible during the time we spend together. I feel like I have a new younger brother, and he seems at least a bit more excited to study with me than with anyone else. We don’t study every weekend, but on most weekends, usually on Sundays when we come to visit, we do some studying. It feels good to let go of my own schedule for a while and become absorbed in helping someone else, especially a growing child about to reach adolescence in a few years. As I believe in the inherent goodness within all humans, I know that this is why it feels so good to help. Our study sessions also help me with my spiritual practice in various ways. As I mentioned, they provide a way for me to take the focus off myself, my own plans and preoccupations, and to focus completely on giving my best in every aspect to another being who is at a critical stage of life and growth. Apart from this, it helps with my patience. Kevin’s a lively kid, upbeat and full of life. This is great, although it often means that he can’t sit still for too long and is always trying to distract me from my teaching. He tries to grab his phone and show me YouTube videos, and sometimes he even asks questions or mentions an idea he’s had recently about some topic he finds interesting. I don’t shut him down, instead I usually interact with him and allow him to show me what he wants to show me. It’s true that we often take even double the time we might actually need if we focused completely on studying with no time for pause, but I feel that the only reason why he even quiets down to study for some moments is because of the connection we are building as we talk, as I allow him to express himself without stopping him mid-sentence and yelling to get back to work or to pay attention. Kids are full of energy, energy we lack too often as adults, and instead of showing them that this energy is evil, and forcing them simply to sit and follow rules, we should encourage this energy, and once they’ve shown us what they want to show us, then we can remind them that we have to have a balance and that we should do some more studying. I don’t know if this is the most efficient way to learn, but I guess it’s been working for him for the past few months. Maria usually does most of the math studying with him, and I do most of the reading or grammar studying, so it’s great to have grown up in an English-speaking country, since it allows me to help him to learn everything correctly and to hear a fluent pronunciation. Anyway, now that we’ve done some studying, I decided to do some writing, so that I have time to work on my other goals later when I get back home. I wasn’t sure what I should write about. This being my twenty-first day straight of writing a thousand words a day, I feel I might be running out of things to write. Actually, what’s happening is that the simplest topics, or the ones I understand more fully, have all been notated up to this point. The topics I have yet to write about are all deeper, spiritual concepts, and I feel I need to take some serious time to not only write these ideas down, but then to organize them in order to publish them in a fashion that makes sense, that isn’t all over the place. That isn’t the point of this experiment though, of writing a thousand words a day. This is supposed to be more freestyle. So as I wondered for a moment what I should write about, it dawned on me. I’ve been having a great time all morning, absorbed in the task of studying, or of helping Kevin study, and so I decided to just write about the simply beauty of that moment. Just last night actually I finished reading Aldous Huxley’s “Island”, and it really impressed me in the way in which it is able to convey such deep topics in the context of people’s personal lives. It delivers certain spiritual ideas in such a powerful way, more powerful than any philosophical treatise in a way. One of the most important topics in the book is that of simply being in the moment, in the here and now, of simply being completely aware of each moment, accepting all that comes, understanding we are essentially divine, meaning that the real part of us cannot be harmed by pain, or by pleasure. It is always there, undisturbed, and it is essential that we learn to reconnect with our pure state of consciousness, with being in the now. Still meditating on the depth and meaning of this great novel, I decided I’d simply write about the great experience I just had before I started writing, the experience of being in the moment , forgetting myself as I shared what I could, selflessly, with another human being. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 22.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 20: Do What Needs to be Done NOW!

As a new month begins, as we gather our energies to begin a new, maybe there’s goals we wish to achieve, changes we’ve been looking to make in our lives. We’re determined that this will be the month of our success, this will be the time to start finally feeling free of compulsion, to start living the way we were meant to, the way we know we are meant to live. Although this excitement is often the result of great motivation, and often motivates us even more, we shouldn’t become too attached to the idea of a new month of change. A month consists normally of thirty days, and each one of those days is made up of 24 hours, each hour 60 minutes, each minute made up of seconds, small lapses of time which fade away as we start to speak about them. What is a second? It is the closest we ever get to the now, and every second we are alive we can make a difference, both in our lives and in the world as a whole. Whenever we make a positive change in our lives we are positively affecting the planet we all share, even if indirectly we are making things better for everyone else. Along with this excitement to change often comes a disappointment in ourselves for not having changed sooner. We reach a point of desperation for not having been able to achieve our daily goals, for not being able yet to cut out that toxic and destructive habit from our lives. All negatives have a positive side, being that they provide us with experiences we can learn from. It is good that past failures motivate us for future success. But it’s even better when past failures motivate us for present success. As we begin to plan a whole month of being aware, of being more conscious, we might become sure that this time we will not fail. We might feel a rush of euphoria as we are now embarking on this journey from which there is no backing down. The problem is that, in a few days, once the initial excitement passes, we might feel disappointed in ourselves for not keeping the momentum going, we might feel that we are losing that motivation. The problem is that we were focusing on the feeling of success since the beginning, we were focusing on how good it would feel to succeed, to take on a whole month of refusing temptation, of remaining calm and collected in every situation, of breaking old habits and finally being able to feel proud of ourselves. Although it serves to motivate us initially, this focusing on the outcome and on the positive feeling it will fill us with does not provide lasting motivation, because it still focuses on future satisfaction. What is needed is not a future goal in order to be able to feel accomplished at the end of a certain period. What we need to do is to remain completely focused at every moment. We need to plan a daily review of our goals and habits, we need to keep track at every moment, we need to remain grounded in the fact that this is a new person, this person here, now, living life differently. I won’t be a new person once I complete a certain goal for a specific amount of days. No, I’m already a new person, and if I intend to live life according to my values, if I know what those values are, then at any moment I can review these ideals, and I can get straight to work. Once you know that something is good for your life, that it will help to build your life up into something richer, there is no need to look for outside validation, or even to look for validation from ourselves. Our own mind might trick us a few days later, throwing temptation in our face, hoping that we break our goals, that we indulge in that harmful habit, that we fail and feel miserable again. We need to remember that we have already made the decision to go through with this, and that decision is true of right now, we absolutely must put it into practice Now. You see, there is nothing other than the now. Focus on the now, learn the teachings of Karma Yoga in order to understand this concept in a deeper way if you must. Don’t feel entitled to feeling good, don’t feel entitled to the fruits of your labor. Don’t worry about what others think, don’t worry if it doesn’t seem like the goal is bringing you to where you wanted. Give it some time, stick to the plan, to the decision which you had in that one moment of clarity, and apply it to the now. Let go of any doubt that arises from past conditioning, let go of paralyzing fear of the future. There is no past, there is no future. There is only now, this moment, this consciousness which allows us to experience the moment, and the all-pervading Spirit which provides us with our ability to do the right thing here and now. So, if you’re trying to break a habit that has you in its grip, don’t start thinking about all the times you’ve failed, don’t start by thinking about how horrible it will feel to be deprived of such pleasure for a whole week, or a whole month, or a year. Simply know in this moment that you are free, that you don’t need anything external, whatever it may be, and be at peace in this moment. Close your eyes and sit and do nothing if necessary, but just be in the moment until temptation passes. If you are trying to pick up a new habit, don’t think about all the extra work you need to put in now. Don’t stress about people liking what you write, about people buying your music, about people criticizing your art, about people looking at you weird for refusing to complain, or for changing your life, for giving up reckless partying and drug use for spirituality, for connecting with the Higher Self within us all, or for following the passion you know you were born to pursue. Pay no mind to these things, know there is an amazing force which is on your side at all times. You cannot fail now, you can only succeed at doing what needs to be done, or at not doing what doesn’t need to be done. Stop complicating yourself and your life, stop looking for gratification in time, stop looking for the feeling of being a better person, a more responsible or successful person, and accept yourself as you are now, be at peace with yourself and with God, and get down to business. You know what needs to be done, so do it NOW! You will never get another chance to do what you need to do now. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 21.

~ Rebel Spirit