Featured

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 40: Stay Awake.

Stay awake until the final second, until my head falls and takes my body along with it, the movement waking me in mid-air just in time to save me from cracking my head on the floor or the edge of the table. Sometimes we stay up just to stay up, just to keep time ticking, to feel like it’s still going. We can’t simply call it a day and head to bed, or take twenty minutes to analyze our day and then head to sleep. We have time for everything other than order though. We fall asleep and we don’t remember what time we fell at sleep at, since we were already half asleep while we were still doing things, still surfing the net, nodding off. Why are we always searching for more? Why can’t we be at peace, even in our own rooms? A crazy, constant search for stimulation, a lack of appreciation of what we already have, an inability to slow down and enjoy the little things, to explore the wonders all around us. When I was younger and still living with my parents I would often come home and shut myself in my room, reading about all sorts of cool places and things to do around the world, wishing I could be somewhere else. Now, even though I absolutely love living with my wife and being independent from my parents, I do miss our moments together at my old home, all the great times we had growing up, and the great times that could have been, had I appreciated what I had. It’s sad to see it happen, yet it’s a common pattern of behavior, that as young children grow into adolescence, they become so caught up in social life, in peer pressure, in keeping up an image, in being with so-called friends at all times, always out and about, that they forget about their parents and how things used to be between them. Children’s impulsive behavior can lead them to act in risky ways, in ways that might make it seem like they don’t appreciate their parents’ dedication towards them, and it is precisely because they are growing up and feeling like they belong, like they are popular, or that their reputation is now at stake, depending on everything they do or don’t do, every event they attend or miss out on. In a teenager’s world, everyone wants to be in on everything, and it is also like this in the world of anyone who lives off of other’s impressions and ideas about them. Too many people live lives of fear, they require certain things, certain conditions to be met, during every interaction or social situation, in order to feel like they belong, in order to feel secure about who they are what they are trying to represent. People don’t know who they are, they know about their inner chaos very well, yet they haven’t taken the time to analyze it and to understand it, they haven’t done the work, and have preferred to run from it instead. Self-analysis is tough love, self-love, self-care to the highest degree. When we can be honest with ourselves, that means we have a loyal friend who we can probably trust, probably something like ninety-nine percent of the time (we all lie to ourselves sometimes, even in the smallest matters). If we can’t come to terms with all the aspects of who we are then we are forever destined to look for external meaning to no avail. Your life’s meaning can never, will never, be found externally, in some group or some organization, in becoming something new, in doing something new, in acquiring some new possession. Only you can do the necessary work, can go through the inner process, which will allow you to submit who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, to the divine will, and to trust and have faith in the process, doing your best and expecting the best out of every situation, especially every bad one. Only then will you find peace. Other than in this divine peace, there is nothing else which is peaceful outside of it. We are always searching for a high, for a thrill, for a stimulus to respond to. There is a space between stimulus and response, as Viktor Frankl stated, yet very few of us are familiar with it. In many cases we respond before the stimulus has even finished taking it effect on us. We always want more, we want to hear more, not necessarily to listen more, but then we want to talk even more, much more than we want to hear. We all believe in something, we all want others to believe in the same thing, so that others might be saved, so that others might come to know the truth, so that they may escape suffering. But we are all neurotic, we are all constantly on the move because we can’t really stand the truth, we can’t stand the silence, and the pain of solitude, we can’t stand being stripped away of all that makes our identity, of all that seems to make us who we are. We are not prepared to stand naked in the face of adversity, in the face of others, in the face of our own higher selves. We are all imperfect, sinners if that’s what we wish to call ourselves, we have missed the mark. We have all fallen victim to temptation, to the Satan within ourselves, to the little devil on our shoulder. We have all placed our own pleasure above whatever was the right thing to do at the time, we have all considered taking revenge, or have in fact taken revenge, against someone who has seemingly harmed us. Indeed, many can attempt to harm us, and it will seem as if they have succeeded. They can succeed in harming us, for we cannot control the actions of a criminal, or a murderer, yet whether they succeed in robbing us of our inner peace is completely up to us. For this reason, we must stay awake at all times, alert to what may possibly be the cause of our downfall, if left unchecked. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 41.

~ Rebel Spirit

Featured

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 33: Still Sick and Wondering Why.

Still feeling sick. I think I really gotta get to the hospital soon to be honest, since every day I seem to feel the same thing. The strange thing is that, all day today I felt no symptoms. I felt great a lot of the time, I was finally able to help customers out with a good attitude over the phone. The past few days I’d had to disconnect myself since I felt no drive to speak with the customers, and also the air conditioner was way too cold for me to endure. I just went and sat outside and listened to a few songs before a mild headache started. Today everything was fine during the morning, and even while I was at work. When I got home everything was alright also, then I started feeling a bit cold, even though only the fan is on. I undoubtedly have a fever now, although it isn’t as severe as other days. This weak feeling makes my eyes burn every once in a while, and I really thought that today would be the day when I’d fail my goal of writing a thousand words a day. I dropped down on my bed for a while with Maria by my side, both comfortable and happy to be home from work. As we talked about a lot of things, that’s when my fever began to start. We ate, and read a Bible chapter of Ezra, the book we’re currently on. The only goals left to do are my writing and my twenty-minute meditation. I usually meditate in the mornings since Maria goes in to work before me, although we come home at the same time. Today I didn’t meditate at that time since i was completely absorbed by my reading of Huxley’s ‘The Perennial Philosophy.’ I also read today’s sutra on mindfulness of breathing. So most of my morning consisted of reading. I took out the trash as well, since the garbage truck comes by the house today. It comes by three days of the week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so we gotta remember to take out the trash on each of those days so it doesn’t accumulate. I ate some oatmeal in the morning also, which I prepared with honey, cold water and a bit of cinnamon. I’ve been trying to eat healthier to see if I can catch up on some of the nutrients and vitamins I may be missing, maybe that’s the reason for this illness I’ve been experiencing. What really motivated me to write right now, to not lose the goal no matter how I may be feeling, was something which I mentioned during the conversation I just had in bed with Maria. I mentioned that, if I continue writing every single day, when I’m older, even elderly, I will be able to look back on my thoughts during different stages of my development, and I will be able to learn from my past ideas and thoughts, to change what is necessary, and to remind myself of the useful things I’ve jotted down throughout the years. So, instead of allowing my fever to hold me back from continuing my goal which I’ve worked so diligently on for thirty plus days now, I decided to just write about it. The reason I wasn’t feeling like writing is because, with this illness and this feeling of weakness, I thought I couldn’t use my brain to come up with anything worth writing. I didn’t let resistance beat me though, and I’m proud of myself for it, as well as of my beautiful wife who motivated me with her understanding and caring conversation. If nothing deep comes from tonight’s piece then I apologize, since all you’ll get to read is some of my confusion about this sickness which has taken over me recently, which I have no clue what it is. I haven’t gone to the doctor since I’m scared of some bad news, although I don’t have much reason to believe that anything is seriously wrong with me. It’s mostly just fear with no reality behind it, and so Maria has been urging me to go to the doctor so I can at least find out the cause of my almost daily fevers. I think the time is coming, I’ll have to put my fear aside in order to face the truth of the matter. Since I thought it might be due to the fact that I’ve been eating less than I used to over the last year or so, I thought I could get better by simply eating more and healthier, but in all honesty it’s better to be sure of the problem. I’m feeling better now that I’m writing, and also I feel I’m more at peace with the fact that my writing won’t always be super profound and inspirational. I feel like I can finally accept that sometimes we just write for the sake of writing, and that there’s nothing wrong with that. To anyone who’s feeling any symptoms of illness, please do not ignore them! Go seek a professional who knows what’s going on. It might be too late later if you don’t realize it now. Hopefully this isn’t my case, I pray to God that I’m able to remain healthy and continue to enjoy life with my amazing wife. Also, I’ve been trying to remain grounded as much as possible in God, in the holiness within me, which is within us all, the Spirit which is beyond all duality, beyond all pleasure and pain, and which cannot be broken by any illness. To remain connected with this power is easier said than done, yet it is within our grasp, all of us humans can find this within us, if we are serious about it and are willing to put our attachments and aversions aside, and to be thankful and trust the process of life. Everything is part of life, including suffering and death, and if we can’t cultivate the right attitude regarding these facts of life, we are bound to always suffer much, much more than we need to. So I’m hoping for the best, but I’m also working on my mentality and strength of spirit so I can be ready for whatever news I receive.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 34.

~ Rebel Spirit 

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 32: Your Body Is Your Portable Home!

Since ancient times we’ve been attempting to answer the mysteries of existence, the reason for it all and what everything means. We’ve observed and taken notes, we’ve wrote our hypotheses down for our descendants, we’ve put all our accumulated information, our knowledge, into books. Some of the information simply can’t be passed down in books, although most of it has. Many ideas are passed down, generation after generation, through the people who embody them, rather than on any piece of text. Most of us have many theories of reality, yet we’re all part of reality, we’re interwoven with it. Inseparable as we are from nature, from reality as we know it, we can’t examine it fully. We are what we eat, who we spend our time with, what we watch and hear and read, we are all of this. Beyond this we are something simple and infinite, but for the purposes of living here on this planet, during this incarnation, we basically are whatever we choose to absorb. We are the product of what we’ve chosen to consume, physically and mentally. We don’t know the details of what we eat, of what we drink. We know alcohol and cigarettes are slowly killing us, and that death might come severely and painfully, through disease. When I think back to the times when I still consumed both of these drugs, I know that I definitely didn’t have the same appreciation for life as I do now. I was an angry, rebellious teenager finding my way in the world. My reputation was important to me, and I had built it around being daring and down to do whatever, crazy. I was not truly thinking about myself, or about the people who love me, about what was best for me and the ways in which things like smoking could affect me and cause a lot of suffering to the most important people in my life down the road. My thinking was about the label that defined me, about who I thought I was, an aspiring rapper, cooler and crazier than any other. The arrogance which developed within me as I believed myself to be this character led to some really unfortunate situations. Thankfully I changed my ways before it had to come to something fatal, and I feel much more peaceful now that I’ve left that image and that whole lifestyle behind. We gain nothing from acting tough, we only close ourselves off from others, we reflect the hate and the indifference of the world, everything which is corrupting civilization. Since we can’t connect with ourselves or with others, we smoke our lives away, and we pick up a drink for the same reason, to socialize better, to lower our inhibitions. Why are we so afraid to speak our minds in the first place? Why do we need a stimulant every time we want to have a get-together with friends? Could it be that we can’t face them while sober, or that we can’t stand ourselves around them, or that we can’t stand the mere fact of being alive in this world and sharing an experience with a few other billion people? Things are too crazy to contemplate, so we smoke on, as we talk about the weather and complain about the calls during our 15-minute break? Are we all so unsatisfied that it’s too depressing to talk about what’s really on our minds? Is that why we’d rather chill with a cigarette instead, completely conscious of its contribution to our possible early death? Now that I understand how important life is, I understand that I need to take better care of my body. One’s body should never be neglected. If a so-called spiritual person neglects his body and calls it right then he is not honoring the fact, he is not appreciative of the fact, that he has a body, in order to live in this world. A home we can take with us wherever we go. If we can’t accept the now, this simple moment of just being alive, in this body, in this planet, if we can’t appreciate this and are trying to kill ourselves off in order to reach heaven or nirvana, then we have failed on our journey in the first place. We have disrespected a wonderful tool which we possess, yet without knowing who has given it to us, our body. I wonder if my lungs will have enough time to heal through the years, especially if I continue blazing, or has my previous cigarette addiction caused permanent damage? Only God knows, all I can do is hope. Time and time again, we are reminded of our inferiority, our seemingly hopeless state, lost with no clue where to go. Life feels like that sometimes, we all go through it. What happens is that we take our blessings for granted. We want things to be different in such and such way, we want to get this, or we want to avoid that. We want to control life, yet we put in no work in order to be able to do so, and even if we did it would not guarantee us that things would go according to our plans. Life is unpredictable, and it is this uncertainty which keeps us moving forward. We need to work on our attitudes in order to be ready to whether whatever storm comes our way, yet this doesn’t mean we should stop reflecting on our lives and making right decisions. We are responsible for clearing all the garbage we’ve already stored within, out of our minds. No one else will do it for us, and as long as we have so much trash in our minds, controlling us subconsciously, it will be extremely difficult for us to find the wisdom and mental clarity which are essential to living life right. None of us know anything, and life is better when we live it this way. We all specialize in one subject and we walk around as if we were the most intellectual people on the planet, we want to spread the message, to speak about what we are, the label we now identify with. What we need to do is to learn now about different ideas, to compare them to what we have learned on our own journey, to search for deeper understanding, both of similarities as well as differences. When we ignore one side of life, out of fear or aversion, we are living in ignorance. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 33.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 15: What’s the Point of It All?

Sometimes we wonder why we should even try, we awake with this doubt, with its accompanying thoughts and feelings, they hold us down to our comfortable beds, comfortably numb but held down by our own weight. The room’s a mess, the whole house even, for days and weeks on end, for months, time flies and nothing gets done, yet everything happens, every day and night — we just don’t seem to be in control of what happens. It reminds us of our own dissatisfaction with ourselves, with the daily routine, of the resistance within us, that seductive, deceiving demon who thrives off of shaming and ridiculing us for even dreaming of dreaming our dreams at all, not to mention really dreaming them, or drastically turning them into reality. Even if we can beat this devil and stroll triumphantly out of hell, succeeding in our primordial task of completely demolishing resistance and getting started with our sacred journey, even after this moment divine ecstasy of finally beginning, too often we come to find, after a rather short interval of time usually, that results rarely turn out the way we initially planned them, or worse, that things always go wrong! This could go for your day or for any long-term project. It can be applied to life in general, its unexpected and unprecedented. We complain, but that’s how we’ve come to like it, how things ought to be even. But forget it, things always seem to go wrong exclusively for us! We make a fuss, we kick and cuss at the sky, we ask why and we cry like cosmic babies to Father God, or to mother helplessness, but in a frenzy of agony and anger mixed together nonetheless, no matter who we’re kicking and yelling at. We’re really yelling at ourselves though. We recognize our enemy as ourselves, deep down inside all of us do, and this frustrates us more than anything because we’re in denial, we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone and start being who we are meant to be, whether this means a dramatic transformation, or just being in the now, enjoying the day without wishing we were elsewhere, or nowhere. Let’s take a moment to think back. Did we go all the way with it, really go all the way, or did we do things without applying the correct dose of concentration, or without adopting the correct attitude towards the matter? Ideas may float through our mental horizons ceaselessly, but they may not even turn out in any way at all in real life, seeing as how they never get started. Sometimes people are about to make great success in internally defeating resistance, yet outer circumstances may prevent them from making this final ascension. The tragedy of the human condition keeps us cynically inspired with lethargy, with hate and with an attitude of not being able to care less, but which really masks a deep care for the world and its inhabitants, along with a fear for yourself and for anyone you love, fear that they could ever experience such horrors. People are dying all around us, everyone pretending they can hold it together, everyone keeping busy, in a rush, chasing the next thrill, everyone addicted to a chemical, a pill. No one can stop for the moment and be free, without fidgeting with their phone or shaking their leg. Some part of us must remain busy, we must hold an appearance and we must never be vulnerable. We are trying to cover up the truth with massive amounts of lies, and it shows. But who cares if others can tell? Who really cares? They can’t even tell, they themselves being too busy digging into, or covering up, their own problematic psyches just like you are. Is there a meaning to life beyond a high, beyond a trip, beyond a mystical moment of oneness? Is there more to God than a vision of Jesus, or of Buddha, or of a prophet from ancient times? Is there more to life than a vision, more than the petty lies we tell ourselves and each other? Or are these produced in the mind? Could the people who hear voices telling them to kill their families be hearing the same voices that the ancients heard when they passed their sons through fire to please the gods? Could it even be the same voice that commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? Or could these be devils, while this was in fact, the divine voice of God? I don’t lean to either opinion, since I can’t speculate on the matter, but it is definitely strange and disturbing to think about.  We wonder what all this evil means, we might even accept that it’s all the suffering of the world comes down to our evil doing, our evil being which is inherent within us all, but we simply can’t accept all the seemingly meaningless cruelty of it all, we can’t come to grips with the bare facts of life. These thoughts can cripple us and resistance comes back in a big way, along with its brother fear and many more cousins who aren’t playing around with your sanity. These little troublemakers might have you questioning things like ‘what’s the use of enjoying our own lives as millions of others suffer?’ As we live, others die, often from unjust causes, from political corruption and murder, but more so from corruptions of the human mind, from a loss of control over one’s own genocidal emotions. One man without the proper restraint on his own destructive emotions is a potential danger to everyone around him and even for many generations to follow him. How are we not guaranteed not to go astray if we are influence by hatred and distrust for life? Self-control is key, both to fighting resistance, and to controlling what we create once we beat it. A word, a deed, a piece of art, or of literature — these are all realities which we bring to life from the creative and collective unconscious. We are all projecting our realities onto any and every external object we come into contact with, we see things and smell things and feel things according to our own specific reality throughout our lifespan on this earth, during this incarnation. We think we all share the same senses, and indeed we do, but truly there are never-ending sets of variations of these senses. But is there more to these senses that we believe we know and trust? I for one think we should all try to answer this question truthfully to ourselves, before we ever decide that life is completely senseless.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 16.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 12: Impermanence of Life, Strength of Spirit.

Life flows from one moment to the next, from pleasure to pain, non-stop. We wonder what it all means, what is the right way to live, or the wrong way. We wonder if the things that happen are meant to be, if the lives we live mean anything at all or if everything is random. Are we living out our best potential? Is there even such a thing, or were we destined from the very beginning to be none other than who we are? We ask ourselves these questions, sometimes voluntarily, other times we are forced to meditate on these things. We search for answers with a reckless sense of excitement, or we drown ourselves in massive amounts of anything that kills the pressure of not knowing, the pounding, beating presence of uncertainty, of the anxiety that comes with the human condition, calling out from within us, demanding to be at least acknowledged, if not respected. Pain is nothing to run from, and neither is confusion. Few of us choose to analyze our confusion, but when we do, we see connections in the most bizarre circumstances, we see how events from the past have taught us valuable lessons for the now. We see that confusion is unnecessary. If we are to be like children, like God’s children, if we are to be pure like children, unprejudiced and ready to open our hearts to life just like children are, then we must have a sense of wonder like that which children possess. We wonder why good and bad have to exist, but it makes sense in any movie we watch. Life is a movie too, changing pictures on the screen of awareness, the spirit that animates, that emanates its living light into everything that is. We all know this, but we take it for granted. We understand the concept, but we don’t think it realer than the situations of our daily social lives. This spirit is not afraid, it has never become corrupted by anything that has happened in anyone’s life. A divine spark cannot be damaged, it can only be forgotten by the very being which it gives life to. Where does our life come from, or the energy which keeps our hearts beating, or the planets rotating around the sun, or our lungs breathing air? It is all a mystery, something which we humans have not manufactured. How many of us can honestly say we are dedicated to studying this mystery of life to the best of our abilities? I am not talking about an obsession with everything that comes along in our lives, I mean a committed mentality of making the best of every situation we face, analyzing everything completely honestly, and learning life’s lessons as sincerely as possible as we go along, making the necessary changes at every stage of life depending on the lessons we learn? We’re all capable of this, but we don’t give this innate ability of ours the respect it deserves, nor the proper use. How deep do we want to dive into our insecurities, into our inferiority or superiority complexes, into our toxic traits and the vicious habits which keep us trapped with no conceivable way of breaking free? Are we willing to radically alter our lives whenever we know it’s needed, or will we keep on living life as if we will live forever, as if there is no possible way in which we could live life other than the way we are living it now? Overworking, not sleeping enough, not eating right, neglecting health for the chase of money and status, rejecting even the possibility of love for cheap thrills all while avoiding any real commitment in life? Are we afraid to utterly fuck up if we commit to a relationship with that decent girl who cares for us, or to that plan of quitting that harmful habit we engage in, or to that vision of chasing our dreams and making them come true no matter what? Are we too afraid to live life? Again, things come and go, we are born and then we die, we win some, we lose some. Everything is yin and yang, black and white, but the more we connect with our Spirit, that part of us which is godly and beyond all knowledge of duality, the more we can be free of attachment and aversion, and the easier it will become to endure life’s blows and tragedies, as well as its senseless pleasures and temptations into evil. I’ve been meditating for a while now, and I think that, if mediation is getting in touch with the silence and peace that come with our inner Spirit, our innermost, realest Self, then prayer could be something which might be very beneficial to engage in before meditation. Prayer is sort of speaking to God or the universe, while meditation is listening. So maybe an answer can come somehow. I don’t know for sure who or what God is, if he is a personal being we can relate to, or if he is an energy which pervades everything there is, or maybe somehow both in one. But that shouldn’t stop me from praying to God, at least to be thankful for every blessing in my life, to acknowledge that I have a lot to learn and much to change in myself, and committing myself to the highest power in the universe, most likely the creator of all we know, and even that we have no explanation for, to do my best and to do what I know is right. I think a spiritual connection to life is needed in order to survive the hardships of life with a sane mind, or if not spiritual, at least a sense of a higher meaning or purpose to life, which I don’t as something which could be viewed other than spiritually, but then again we are all different and have all kinds of ideas. I’ll just keep on working on connecting more with that innermost part of myself, that part which always knows what is right, and I know that life, although it may not be easy, will always be more and more meaningful to me.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 13.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 5: Personality, Truth & Love.

It is interesting to think about which traits of a person might be a part of his or her personality, and which might be part of something innate and belonging to the very soul of the individual. Love is unconditional because it is created in those moments in which we are truly ourselves, in those moments when we dare to be vulnerable in front of those who love us and who we also need and love and cherish. Life is about communication and honesty, and we owe our loved ones the right to know the truth about who we are and what drives us in this life. We were all born into this life with an inherent purpose, an ultimate goal we must reach, a mission we must fulfill. We are all meant to play our role in the unfolding of consciousness, in the transforming and transmuting process of all that is, otherwise we would not be alive to experience this moment. There is not a single one of us who is indispensable. Truly understanding this, a wise friend or lover strives to support the soul of the beloved, that part within the other person who is actually the lover, the part within both of them which is the same, the part which unites them beyond logic and reason, beyond body and mind, ultimately beyond all duality. As this is the basis of all love, this is the basis of the soul, or the spirit. And as the spirit is based on, and a direct reflection and image of God, then we can conclude that the spirit is love itself. When we decide to love and support another person, we accept them with their flaws and we do our best to facilitate the processes that drive their lives forward. We can no longer hate them or devalue them, or see them as inferior to us, because we are completely aware, beyond a shadow of doubt, that all these people are an extension of us. That you are extension of me and I am an extension of you. I cannot harm myself without harming you if you truly love me, and vice-versa. We are tied together by love, a bond that cannot be broken once it is divinely blessed. When we are able to put our own selfish desires aside for love, when we are fully ready to sacrifice ourselves for another, this is when we transcend the petty complex of the ego which has kept us confined for so long. This is when we connect with the collective soul within us all, with the spirit which is love itself. Once we have known someone, once we have loved and appreciated them and supported them through their struggles, we cannot turn our back on them when they need us most. We all make mistakes, but we are also all capable of forgiveness, and we should forgive by any means as long as we have the power and self-control to do so. We all do, of course, but it lies hidden under piles of garbage for most people, garbage which has piled up since decades ago, from all sorts of rotten sources. It is never impossible for someone who understands this great truth of the collective spirit to make another understand it as well. The connection between souls is millions of times stronger than any form of energy known to man. When we are prepared to unconditionally love someone, it is because we are allowing our soul to shine through and to manifest. We should spread this love whenever possible, as it is the main healing force of this world. After all, a soul without love would rather not be, and in fact cannot be. Just the same, love without soul can be nothing more then a cheap imitation. Soul love is forever, it is true and it is loyal, it is ready to give up pleasure for the beloved, it can be seen in families, such as the love of a mother or a father towards their children, and occasionally children towards their parents. Life is about learning to fall into the flow of the universe, about falling in love with the little things, about cherishing the subtle sensations of peace that come from the simple pleasures. Words are used to convey abstract meanings, and over time we come to believe we know what the words mean. Another way to look it at is to see that the words of the language we speak really create the ideas we choose to communicate, and even those we keep private. Babies know no words. I wonder what would happen if a baby grew up with no communication or language learning whatsoever. How would this situation affect their development as adolescents, and how would this in turn create the men or women they would grow to be? Would they act more like animals than like people, would they be less civilized? Don’t a lot of people act a lot like animals nowadays anyway, even fully “civilized” people? Do babies act like animals? Babies are one group in society from which we can learn a lot of things actually. Babies do not act like animals, for the most part. They cry and yell simply because they have no method of expression which they can use to convey their meanings, such as language. My belief is that babies definitely do not act like animals, and in fact they might be some of the most “civilized” among us. It is only when babies grow up that they develop the capacity to act like animals towards their fellow human beings. So, would a group of people who never learn to communicate then act like animals if they grew in such a way? The reason I ask myself this question is because it is only when we think we know something that we reject everything seemingly contrary to what we believe to be the truth. Can there be more than one truth to anything? There is only One Absolute Truth, and it is when it is expressed, or attempted to be expressed by words that it becomes a cause of suffering, or rather a cause for much suffering to believers and non-believers alike. 

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 6.

~ Rebel Spirit.

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 4: Morality, the Origins of Good and Evil.

Yesterday I brought up a conversation which I had with my grandparents the other day, which got me thinking about the nature of God and life, as well as death, and faith. They have faith in Jesus, they are devout Christians. I have faith in God, but I’m not sure who or what God is, and I have a great willingness to learn, and to go wherever the truth leads me. I think that, no matter what else we might believe about God, the one thing we can be sure about is that God represents good. The good that we feel within us is proof to me that there is a greater good which has created us, which dwells within us. Evil is simply the ignorance of this good within us, of our intuition. So where does the feeling of morality come from? We might steal every day, we might kill a a million men, but we will never escape from the knowledge that we are in the wrong, that we are not acting out of love but out of ruthless selfishness, and that therefore we are not living life right. We can indeed ignore this inner voice and convince ourselves that what we’re doing isn’t wrong, but it can never go away completely. The real Self within us knows the truth; it is that part of us which comes from, or is a part of, God. When we get really good at following our every desire on our search for pleasure, we might become confused and think that the voice of intuition has gone away, that we have escaped it, but we have just gotten better at drowning it out in all the accumulated noise in our heads, all the random garbage we’ve accumulated over time. Our conscience will haunt us non-stop if we choose to lead lives that go against it. I believe our intuition is divine. Again, I’m not exactly sure of who or what God is, but I believe that God exists, since I can feel love within me, and goodness. I have seen that love is what is needed in order for two people to connect in a relationship and then to procreate and raise their children in a proper manner. It is obvious that love leads to life, and that the act of sex, or making love, and of bearing children is a physical as well as spiritual representation of this. A physical body is produced and grows within the mother, and a soul inhabits it as it comes to life. The whole thing is too perfect to be a coincidence, in my honest opinion, too beautiful and too advanced to be a product of random mutations over millions of years. Good comes from God, life comes from the unity created by love, life therefore comes from God. It is almost completely clear for me. But what about evil? This has always bothered me. The duality of this life is the obvious answer to this. But why this dual nature in the first place? Is it as the Kabbalah teaches, that we were separated from God and this world was created out of that endless desire to reconnect with the Godhead? Is it the devil that’s at work in our planet? Is this a world of pain, is it a life of suffering as the Buddha taught? I would say that it is. It is obvious that, although there is abundant love in the world, there is also a tremendous amount of evil and suffering. I think it has something to do with the story of Adam and Eve, when they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. It might mean they were not human, and that the fall represents a lowering of consciousness, the creation of this world, working the land, producing children in pain. I think that, although this duality is a part of life, good is ultimately higher than the good and bad of duality. The good of duality is not complete good, since there is always a little circle of evil within it. The same goes for evil, we often have sincere and honest reasons for doing evil, whether it is stealing so that our children can eat, or lying in order not to offend someone or break their heart. This is a world of duality, the Principle of Polarity is in effect, and everything is connected to its opposite, it is different only in degree. Above this, however, there is a greater good, a good untouched by ignorance and therefore uncontaminated by evil. I think this is the good that we connect with when we realize we are spiritual beings on this planet, that we have a higher nature, a divine nature that comes directly from God, an intuition which can lead the way through life. I think that Jesus’ death on the cross, assuming he is not God, is an amazing example for us all of how to live as human beings. It might have been that Jesus was indeed the Messiah, chosen by God for the specific mission of showing us in such an astonishing manner that we have to embrace all the suffering and the injustice of this life, including the inevitable fact of death, and that we have to transmute it into goodness. We have to accept the suffering that comes with doing the right thing, with fulfilling our mission on this planet. So many of us go through life ignoring our intuition, doing whatever pleases us the most at any given moment, never doing the right thing since it might affect our comfortable lifestyle. It may be true that what I’m saying is just another belief system, although most of the greatest mystical orders believe this as well, but even if it is just a belief system, it matters more than “knowing” who the absolute God is and attempting to impart that belief onto others. So many people are at war nowadays because of their belief in a specific religion, a specific God which they believe to be better than the rest. So many people have superiority complexes and look down upon everyone else, since they are not yet “saved” and are unaware that they will spend eternity in hell. So many people are so obsessed with a specific God and religion that they have no idea of the intuition which is within them. Is it more important to worship Jesus, or Buddha, or to follow in their examples, extending good to our fellow human beings wherever we may go, and sharing all the love and compassion available within us? I think the latter is something which cannot be ignored while we are on a search for life’s bigger meanings. Don’t get lost in a religion, or in an ideology, to the point where you feel higher than everyone else, where you only help because you feel pity for other people.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 5.

~ Rebel Spirit.

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 2

Now, as we discuss time as well as the timeless Now, let’s take a moment to discuss death. A conversation that I had with my grandparents yesterday brings death to my attention. Death hits us like a train when it comes, it crushes us when one of our loved ones disappears from our lives forever. What are we to do in the face of such horror? And the worst part of it is that, apart from never being able to see that person again, we don’t even know where they have gone. We all have our religious beliefs, and we might believe in heaven and hell or reincarnation or who knows what else, or we might simply believe that when life is over it’s just over for good. The undeniable fact is that none of us know for certain. Some claim they know, yet so many people claim so many things. We can’t ever trust them one hundred percent though. Why this depressing talk about death and the uncertainty of things anyway, do I really have to touch upon this? Well, why not? Death and life are inseparable. Life is impermanent. It is what we all choose to ignore. We would rather ignore that which makes us uncomfortable. And maybe I’m the wrong person to write this because most of my loved ones are still alive. Both parents, all three brothers, and my beautiful wife, as well as three grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles. I’m blessed since I’m not too familiar with death, I’ve only had a few friends that have passed away. What I have been familiar with for a long time is wasting time. Wasting time talking shit, wasting time getting wasted, getting high, wasting time chasing girls, wasting time partying, and wasting time unconsciously trying to kill my pain. Killing pain by killing time. What a stupid thing to do, to kill time. Who will want to kill time in their last moments? Although I’m only in my mid-twenties, I have wasted enough time wasting time to eventually begin to ponder the very nature of time. Time is something which is unique to this physical dimension. The spiritual plane is not bound by time and space, but the physical plane is. Therefore there must be a function to time while we are alive here. I think the role that time plays in our lives is that of a warning. Time is a constant warning that we need to seize the day; our bodies becoming wrinkled and our muscles feeling pain as we grow older are all warning signs that death is fast approaching, and that we need to live now, to be here now as Ram Dass put it, and to treat every moment of our lives as sacred, as a manifestation of the divine. What time is there to waste in a lifetime which is already too short as it is? At least it feels like it is. We only have so much time in this life, and we better make it count, because what we do is not meaningless. We only have the present moment. Every thought and every deed creates countless effects, only some of which we are aware, and everything is connected to everything else in the universe. What we do echoes in eternity, without a doubt. The Principle of Cause and Effect is one of the 7 Hermetic Principles and is also an important concept within the Kabbalah. It is also common sense, it is science. We cannot take a single breath without affecting our surroundings, both material and spiritual. We live in a world of duality, of cause and effect. We live in the yin and yang, we must connect with another human being of the opposite sex in order for a new life to come to this planet. Now that I found the wife that I love and that I’ve dedicated my life to I’ve come to personally experience the power of sex when intertwined with true love between two people, even without resulting in procreation. Before this, when I partied all the time and hooked up with any cute girl I could get into bed with me, all I ever knew was a reckless and meaningless search for pleasure on both parts, two people using each other to pass the time and escape the sadness, the loneliness, the dissatisfaction. Sex is used nowadays in much the same way as drugs, as alcohol, as partying too much, as causing trouble for no reason. Everyone knows this, and everyone feels the emptiness that stems from such a lifestyle, yet when there is minimal time for reflection between thrills, one can easily delude oneself often enough to keep the time going, to keep ignoring that inner intuition for just a little longer so that the party can continue. I’ve wasted enough time, and now I’m going to make every minute count. That’s exactly why I’m writing now. In this timeless inspiration which I feel to relate to you all the deepest thoughts that have been running ceaselessly through my mind for the last few days, months and even years, thoughts on life and death and God, I can’t be bothered by the past or the future. The now is all there is. The now is gone yet it instantly comes again. The now is here, endlessly living and dying and regenerating before it’s even done dying. After all, life and death are just two sides of the same coin. Life is no more than a moment, no more than now. The moment we are born is the second we begin the dying process. Later that night I had a life-changing trip which brought on a very mystical kind of awareness in which I could clearly see how I need to stop searching for some higher ideal which isn’t there for me to discover, and that instead I need to embrace and appreciate the inherent beauty which is to be found in my own life. We all have our own specific blessings, and they are given to us right at the perfect moment in our lives. We need to know when this happens so that we don’t rejects such gifts of Divine grace.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 3.

~ Rebel Spirit.

Life and Death are Two Sides of the Same Coin.

23519318_1940766506164652_2233896215828303941_n

“Death is not the end, but the beginning of a new life. Yes, it is an end of something that is already dead. It is also a crescendo of what we call life, although very few know what life is. They live, but they live in such ignorance that they never encounter their own life. ~ Osho (1931-1990)

What is death? What is life? Cannot these two questions be asked in the same sentence, side by side? Shouldn’t they? Are they not one in the same after all? Life and death are simply two sides of the same coin, and in their seemingly separate form they are another example of the illusion of duality which we project onto the reality we live in. In truth, there is no separation, yet we choose to see the whole of life and nature as separate from us, from our individual being. We go through life passionately protecting this individual being from death, from the grim reaper which will eventually come to harm us and drag our souls to hell, to burn in our deepest fears, or perhaps off to heaven to enjoy all our unfulfilled fantasies. Even the greatest believer in heaven is not willing to take his own life in order to reach its gates as soon as possible, no matter how hard he may be currently struggling on this earthly plane while he still has breath. No matter what we may believe we will encounter after death, we fear the unknown and hold on to the familiar, to the only life we currently know.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves, of our health and our bodies, of our mental, emotional and spiritual well-being, but many of us become completely obsessed with our small individual self, to the point that we come to believe that the universe revolves around us; we would do anything to protect our self, no matter how immoral or harmful we might have to behave towards other beings. We have become desensitized and we now kill for sport or for food when it is honestly unnecessary. My purpose is not to judge either, as I myself still haven’t completely given up the habit of consuming meat, although I would like to and am gradually taking on the task. There is an ancient idea, recognized by the sages of various religions. This idea, which the Vedanta teaches so eloquently, of the oneness behind the duality, this is the idea that permeates throughout all religion and ethics, the reason for morality, for love and unconditional friendship. We are all one people, children of the Great Spirit of which nothing can be said by us, since nothing regarding its infinite properties can even begin to be grasped by the finite mind.

This oneness is itself a contradiction to our warped view of things, to our view of the world in which everything is of dual nature, in which everyone is an enemy and is out to get us, in which life itself is a competition, one which we absolutely must win, we simply must come out on top by any means. We are so caught up in illusion that we have no way of perceiving the infinite oneness beyond it all, that Spirit by which the eye can see, that by which the ear can hear, Brahman as explained in the Upanishads. We choose to use separation as our base point, the reference point from which we see and interact with the world. We fail to realize that even death cannot separate us from those around us, so how can life do so? We are always connected as one because the Spirit which gives me life gives you life, the Spirit which is in you is the Spirit within me. What we perceive as separation due to ignorance is in fact all together, all hearts are beating because of this one rhythm, and all our lungs are breathing in life because life is flowing all around us, within us as well as without us.

Death can never erase us, as everything that is simply keeps on being, if not here then somewhere else, if not today then tomorrow or yesterday. Time and space are nothing to the Spirit. We perceive all as separate but our life is simply a flash, just as all other lives are, before we continue on to new adventures. The law of cause and effect makes the cycle continue, and from death we must keep on working out our karma, doing our duty, our dharma no matter where our consciousness may find itself. It is definitely an interesting concept which makes much sense, and as I have always believed, the Spirit of God dwells within us all and is the reason why we have what we call conscience or intuition, why we are able to love and to sacrifice ourselves for others, why many of us devote our lives to serving others, whether our wives or husbands, brothers or sisters, mothers or even distant relatives, be they the poor or the sick, or the orphan and the widow as suggested in the Bible, we all have the ability to love and to care for all others because we are all one, we are not only similar, but we are the same as long as we look beyond our own individual illusions regarding reality.

Compassion, therefore, is a perfectly natural virtue, which many have unfortunately attempted to kill off throughout the centuries because it does not fit their political purpose, or whatever other purpose may drive them. Hate is a very strong force, yet the force of love and of all that is good can never be eradicated off the face of the earth. Even what we see as evil, what is indeed evil, what our fellow human beings do, or what even we ourselves do, while under the influence of ignorance, is indeed evil if that is the word we are to use, yet every action we take is powerless against the infinite love of God which keeps this world and everyone in it alive. We can never disrupt creation, and everything we do is balanced out in order to deliver what is deserved to each person based on their actions in the present, in the past or in the distant past. The law of cause and effect is duality itself, is one of the laws which govern the illusion of maya which we are immersed in. This is one of the seven ancient Hermetic Principles and is a key concept in the Kabbalah as well. Everything brings about its effect, yet there is a oneness above even the laws themselves, including that of cause and effect, and everything falls into place according to the supreme law, according to Divine Will.

Nothing ever dies, everything simply transforms and continues living, just as the universe is in constant motion (Another Hermetic Principle, that of vibration). God is energy, and the laws that are in place in our dimension and all those that may exist are employed under this divine energy’s commands so that everything works perfectly. The vast majority of humanity will fail to comprehend this Divine Will for a long time because everything appears as a contradiction to us. Life and death seem to disagree, as one brings about so much joy, and the other so much pain. But our vision is sadly incomplete, and that is the real problem here. Life not only brings about much joy, it also brings tremendous pain along with it, starting from the very moment of childbirth. The mother experiences excruciating pain to bring into this world a child who is one hundred percent sure to experience his or her fair share of suffering throughout their life experience as well. Why would she bring this baby to life, being aware of this? Because pain is inevitable for as long as we live, and it is contained within life just as much as joy is. And how do we not know that death does not bring joy to those departed? How do we know that there is not a very special reason why they had to leave us? One thing is for sure, at least: Being part of the eternal Spirit of God, as nothing can be without the Spirit, we can never truly die. We are immortal, and there is no reason to grieve for anyone. We must all move along with life.

~ REBEL SPIRIT ~

****

SPIRIT & BODY

gandhi

The body is a tool which we use to experience life on this physical plane. As many of us become immersed in the happenings of everyday life, the years take their toll, and we are left with amnesia, we cannot remember why we came here, to be in this body, in the first place. This is the cause of much human confusion. We believe we are our bodies, and it is hard for us to think of any scenario in which we are separated from our bodies, it just seems like an overwhelming concept to comprehend.

The fact is that we always leave our bodies in much the same way we remove our clothes at the end of the day. It is believed that we leave our bodies during sleep. This could also be going on during meditation, or during intense psychedelic experiences. We definitely leave our bodies as we are astral projecting. Apart from all this, we are actually not even exclusively in our bodies. We are at the same time taking part in the happenings of the spiritual realm. Just because we do not see what is going on, does not mean that there is nothing going on.

If we begin to pay closer attention to what is going on behind the scenes of our lives, we can start to realize that there is a vast space of awareness, a magnificent field of wonder yet to be explored by us. It is within us and without us, it is invisible to the naked eye and yet it is realer than any physical object. It is to this magical substance that we owe our breath, our consciousness, our whole awareness of life, our will-power, our self-control. This is a divine gift from God, one without which we could not exist in the first place. All that we are is energy, manifesting itself because God is unstoppable, and must create life.

 What we must do, what our main task should be, is that of connecting with our spirit on a deeper level, so as not to be affected so strongly by the circumstances of the physical body, and so that we may live our lives according to the divine spirit. This way, we will feel prepared to stand up for justice, to speak our minds, to revolutionize the world with our noble ideas, without fear of physical harm, of persecution or death. How can we fear such things if they are the natural consequences of doing what we know is right? Not even physical death can stop the progress we make in spirit. Don’t give up the fight!

~ REBEL SPIRIT ~