1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 57: True Love.

I hope we can all find true love and affection in life. I used to date just for fun, for casual sex and for my ego to have someone to call its own. I can’t imagine ever going back to that mentality now that I’ve experienced the blessing of real romantic love and affection. I couldn’t imagine waking up without my wife, without the person I’ve grown to love so much, who I keep on learning to love more and more as the days go by. We are about to celebrate two years of marriage. In total we’ve been together for like five years now, and it’s been so amazing to share so many wonderful moments with her throughout those years. I don’t claim to be an expert at living life, and I’m not really too sure how I ended up with such an amazing lady, but I’m sure glad life worked out the way it did, and I pray it continues on the same course. No matter who you’re with, what really matters in a relationship is commitment and communication. There needs to be open communication between both partners, and even then there will be misunderstandings, but the goal is to lower their frequency. When there is true commitment, both partners are willing to put in the necessary work for a relationship to continue to run smoothly, acknowledging that trouble is bound to come no matter how careful we are, but that with the power of the love which we share we will be able to overcome it. If this is not something which is understood then any small problem can break a relationship’s foundation. It is much easier to call it quits than it is to put aside our pride and at least attempt to make things work out. I knew that it was meant to be for Maria and I when I understood that we shared this common attitude towards love, towards our own relationship. We may have a whole lot of differences, but the main thing that matters is that we are both fully committed to each other. Some might say we are both deluded, and that one of us is bound to abandon the other as soon as things get really tough, but the truth can only be known by those having the experience anyway. We must each use our discernment when choosing a partner, especially when we are considering one for an entire lifetime, but all I can personally do is relate my own experience of what I believe to be my relationship with the woman that I was destined to be with, my life partner, my wife. When two people who share this attitude of sincere commitment to each other come together, this is when true love can blossom and grow. When we are not ready to face the daily battle of sacrificing our own desires for the good of those we love, if we are looking for all we can gain from a relationship without considering what we can contribute to it, then we are not ready for real love. Love is not selfish, and is always looking for the good of the beloved, attempting to love the beloved as itself. We must at least love our life partner as we do ourselves, if we are not yet capable of loving our neighbors and the whole world’s population as we love ourselves. When there is true connection, sexual embrace and union take on a brand new dimension, a holy aspect. When there is true connection, when trust and true love has been established between two lovers then the whole character of a relationship is holy in a way, it is the truest form of union there can be. Every day I thank God for the opportunity of sharing my life with my wife, and I pray for the strength to love her even more than I love myself, to exceed her expectations and to become fully selfless towards her, to know her always more and more, to become completely united. We all need to cherish those we claim we love, we should appreciate everything about them. I never used to think of these things when I was living the party life, when I dated girls here and there just based on appearance and nothing more. When we live in this way, we come to believe that love is a mere superstition, and that sexual pleasure is the highest human pleasure possible. We chase sexual pleasure all our lives when we think in such a way. We become completely ignorant to the truth that sexual pleasure can never compare to, and can only be truly experienced and enjoyed when it is a product of, true love. We take the idea of love away from sex, so that we can commercialize sex and ridicule love. We do this since we are afraid to be vulnerable, we are afraid to truly be one with another, to part ways with our own selfish need to fulfill our own pleasures whenever we wish. When we come to experience true love in a romantic relationship, there is always a deep connecion which keeps both partners in a state of understanding, of forigveness and of support for each other. There is no blame, no using each other to gain anything. My wife and I use our debit cards interchanghably, and we work at the same company. We use the same phone most of the time, there is nothing to hide, no secrets. How much destructive stress is generated by lying and cheating, why not dedicate oneself to growing one’s relationship or marriage instead of chasing limitless sexual pleasure? In such a loveless society as we live in now, it is no wonder that so many people have cut out love from their hearts, that so many people have romantic relationships which are completely devoide of love. I wonder why the miracle happened to me, perhaps so that I could grow up and have something, someone, to live for, to truly love.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 58.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 55: The Lessons You’ve Taught Me.

You make me see that things are not always as they seem, you make me appreciate the power of love, something I never believe in before. You taught me compassion, communion, you helped me to see that so much of my confusion was only a choice. You made me realize that I had a choice, to be free or to keep on struggling in my mental prison, to let go and to allow myself to be loved, to let go of the past that was keeping me down, or to keep on holding on to an illusion of myself. I knew when I met you, that life was providing me with an opportunity which I couldn’t refuse, that God was granting me with a precious gift, one that I couldn’t completely understand at the time, but which I knew, without a doubt, came as a form of divine grace. Such love doesn’t just come unexpected, to someone who doesn’t even believe in the very idea of it. Perhaps deep within I always believed and wanted it, perhaps it was something which was attracted by an intense yet hidden desire. I always wanted a true companion, a woman to share my thoughts with, my ideas on life, to reflect and to build together, to help each other move along through the struggles of life, to listen to her and do support her. I do remember wanting that long ago, my parents were always an amazing example of this for me. As I began to grow, to date, I forgot about this idea, about love and romance, and I saw that people just wanted to party, both guys and girls wanted sex with no commitment. Unconsciously I developed a cynical view of life, since everything seemed so superficial, interactions between people I knew seemed so meaningless, so I decided to join the fun, to allow myself to become caught up in the drama, in the highs and lows of sensual living, I forgot all about ever finding a true life partner, since such an idea simply wasn’t cool. As I began to identify with certain ideas, different from my initial thoughts of love and companion, I began to believe I was an identity, I was a cool dude, I was not about to be chasing any girls down and I was not going to give in to them, I was going to keep it cool and fuck them and leave them, I thought I knew the game. There was no way I was allowing myself to be tied down, how could I if there were so many girls yet to meet, there was so much fun to have still? I never wanted to marry, I also began to take pride in having meaningless sex with as many attractive girls as I could, even when I knew, deep inside, that there was no merit in anything I was doing, that there was really nothing at all to be proud of. All along I craved that deeper connection, and then you came along into my life, completely out of the blue you appeared and stole my heart with your sweet voice. I see now that I was wrong about many things, your simple attitude towards life has convinced me that, even when everything is going wrong, even when everyone around us decides to do only what’s best for them, even then, we should mind our business, we should do our work, we should be ourselves, and we should always be happy about it, we should always do the best we can with the most positive attitude we can bring to the table. You’ve inspired me to become a fighter, before I didn’t see much of a purpose to fight for. I did see many things that were wrong with the world, but a part of me thought they were impossible to change, that life was meaningless because I couldn’t change all the things that were wrong with it. You’ve shown me greater depth than I could previously even imagine, and I thank you and I thank God for it every day, since I know there’s a profound reason for our coming together. I can’t wait to show you new places, which are old to me, and I’ve had a great time during these two years while meeting your family, immediate and extended. Life is great when we are together, you woke me up to the fact that even the most seemingly insignificant details are rich with meaning, that life is no further than here and now, and that we must never let anything get in the way of us being here for those we love and who love us, for being here and now, fully present for them whenever they may need us. You’ve taught me, and you continue teaching me, a lifelong lesson in sacrifice, in putting others before oneself, in working as a team, in making things work together, through proper and honest communication, through restraint on anger and on jumping to conclusions, through sincerity in all situations. You make me smile every day, it’s great to have a person I know I can trust, an embodiment of all that is good and true. You made me see that, before our time together, I had been chasing worthless thrills, I had been living life all wrong. You made me see that there is so much more good within us than we often want to accept, that we often can do much more for others than we wish to acknowledge, lest we feel obligated to do so. You don’t seem to realize it, but your personality has had such an impact on me, your kindness, your radiance and your happiness, they’ve really brightened up my life, I’m so happy to be with you and I can’t wait to see how these virtues continue to grow in you in the future. I wish you the best always, and I pray God blesses you forever, and that we may spend a long, long time together on Earth, and if possible then beyond as well.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 56.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 45: The Incredible Power of Words.

Writing since I recognize the power of words. Nowadays I try to refrain at all times from saying things that are absurd. I question what I hear now, and what I’ve previously heard. Though I try to live in the moment, not attached to what has already occurred. Words contain power, by the power of words the world is ours. Words can lead to life or death, they can leave our mouth feeling sweet or sour. Or sometimes both, sometimes what needs to be said hurts. But it is needed. Sometimes words can get us high, like getting weeded. Sometimes words can lift us up, but they can also be used to destroy. Nowadays we treat the word as if it were nothing but a toy. We don’t understand the consequences of what we say. We think tomorrow won’t be affected by the words of today. We babble on about nonsense, it’s all a funny game we play. Yet we’ve forgotten how to communicate at the end of the day. When we’re alone, at home, no one calling on the phone, no text, just thinking about life and what may come next. Who can we talk to? Who can we tell. We all have a false identity we’re trying to sell. The ideal buyer is ourselves, but we don’t buy it. We know we can’t fool ourselves, but still we try it. We know we have a problem, yet we continue to deny it. Life seems like a plane about to crash, we just can’t fly it. So we talk to no one, we hold it all in. We don’t even write it all down with a pen. We don’t trust our closest friends, or even the members of our own kin. We can’t speak, we’re afraid to lose, so we’re bound to never win. We’re afraid to say what we believe, we only speak to grieve, to moan and to whine, we only open our mouths to fill our bellies with wine. With liquor, so the words that we speak become sicker, and harsher and harmful. They harm ourselves and others. It all starts out innocently yet it ends with fighting among brothers. Since we need to be drunk to say what we really mean, now we want to be the ones to speak, and so we act mean. We need to get our feelings out while we’re in this dream, because we couldn’t do it if we were just sober and clean. We speak the wrong words, only seeking glorification. We criticize our friends, our family, our nation. We follow all the worst trends of our generation. We moan about the weather and about our education. Yet others would kill to live as we do. We stick to our beliefs as if only they were true. We’re living in a bubble, and your words are bound to be misunderstood. With words, the most tremendous evil can be portrayed as good. Crowds convinced of the necessity to murder whole races. We’re all dying of fear inside but we see a smile on each other’s faces. We can’t be real, we can’t be vulnerable, we can’t be free. We have to be the hardest, we have to make everyone believe we’re exactly who they want to be. But we’re locked in a prison, our words become hell. We have nothing but our hidden frustration to show and tell. So we speak hatred in every direction, we curse because we have to wait at an intersection, we complain and we complain, and those around us are receiving a constant injection, of negativity into their minds, we spread it throughout the planet. Then evil comes back around to haunt us, and then we complain because we can’t understand it. We promote violence and division in our music, then we’re sad when we lose those we love. We think we can make a mockery of God above. We use our words to hate, to intimidate, to lie, to cheat. But what if we would bestow a blessing upon every person we meet? Words are energy, they never die. Words are constantly influencing you and I. Words, knowledge, wisdom, keep ideas moving through history. Words are the closest we can come to unraveling life’s mysteries. We need to speak to understand, to ask, to question and to listen. We don’t need to speak to promote our own selfish system. Too many opinions, too much empty talk. We need to be true to our word, it must be solid as a rock. We need to speak the truth even if it leaves our audience in shock. Because a hidden force will back us up, preventing us from being blocked. We shall achieve what we must, if we have divine trust, maybe our words can resonate with people millions of years after we ourselves have turned to dust. Words continue to inspire, words can transmit our love, our fire, to the minds of those who are haunted by the need for knowledge, who crave wisdom as their highest desire. We are free to speak rude words, to offend people, to seek to break people down, yet we would only be bringing ourselves down more than anyone else. The words we speak are only reflections of our own energy, and when we truly start to follow a righteous path, we will understand how useless it is to speak unnecessary words, or words that hurt people for no reason, or jokes which promote evil thoughts. Become purified, be forgiven for every time you lied. Now you are free to live, to be faithful to the truth, to give it your all, your purest intention. Determined, do what you must, speak what you must, write what you must, keep a record of your life, keep a record of your thoughts, keep a record of your habits. Create poetry and philosophy, create stories which teach morals to people, lecture and don’t try to promote yourself or your own philosophy, don’t try to gain anything from it. Simply and humbly speak the truth to whoever you can, realize how much power your words have.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 46.

~ Rebel Spirit