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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 73: Use Your Talents to Shine A Light.

Life’s about sacrifice, you gotta put in work because people’s hearts have grown cold as ice. No one is obligated to lend a helping hand, so don’t expect anyone to understand. But the trick is to not grow bitter and cold, even as we constantly witness the wicked ways in which life in this world unfolds. The point is to take a true hold of your own soul, to put the mind under the Spirit’s authority. We have all been blessed with skills and talents, with intelligence and wisdom, which we can use to bless, others as well as ourselves, to exert the will to progress, but too many of us have our gifts sitting on the shelves. We all have the ability to think and then to express, creatively, whether in poetry, lyrics, music, art, spoken word, to be true to who we were meant to be, and nothing less. Speak your mind and stand for what’s right, though it might shake up your whole world, possibly overnight. Stand by your word. Be who and what you claim to be, always take the high road, up high as a kite, fly forever free. Have the courage to follow the highest vision you see, to create what you conceive. Be a beautiful light, shining bright for what you believe, the brightest star shining on this blessed summer night. It is said that those who wish to give light must first burn. Take up your cross and sacrifice your physical self on it. Kill your attachments to earthly pleasures, especially those which harm others and cause suffering in the world. The right thing won’t always be the easiest one, or the most pleasant one, but we can’t possibly ignore what’s right and expect a good outcome. Recognize the wrong way and turn around to run. I thank those who paved the way for me, and I hope to do the same for generations to follow me, for years, for decades and centuries on, the legacy of everything we do lives on, we live forever even after we’re gone. So know that this is not the end, this misery nor this joy. There is more significance in every second of every day than we care to realize. I don’t know which is the right religion, but I do know that all of us are battling a spiritual war, so we were born with a mission. We all are meant to be, essentially, an example of righteous living, of unconditional care, of charity and selfless giving. Stop all the hate, leave the past behind and recreate, forgive and forget, leave behind every grudge as well as every regret, love for love’s sake. Be thankful for every friend, and even every enemy you’ve ever met. There are no enemies, have no fear for real or fake. Life has placed these people on our path, so that we may come to know what it’s like, to experience hate, pain, separation, rage, wrath. We had to know these things to come to know that they are not us. We are the consciousness on which these emotions, these thoughts and feelings appear, quickly fading away like dust, remain calm and watch them disappear. Let your mind rest, feel at ease, peace of mind is like a soothing breeze, close your eyes and meditate, elevate, feel the unity between you and everything that’s ever been, yet know that the source of you is something so great, that the angels are your kin. How were you conceived and born? How can you speak and connect with others, how can you understand concepts such as love and mutual respect? Life is filled of meaning, but it’s up to us to detect. So leave behind any notions of insecurity, of not being or having enough, stand proud and erect, if you woke up today there’s no excuse to feel like a wreck. Whatever you did, leave it behind and give yourself a chance. Life is in constant movement, so we have to jump in and dance. Roll with the rhythm, with discernment, don’t worry about the past or the future, everything will pass, everything is temporary, and everything is just as necessary. Be humble, understand that God dwells within your brother, within all others, and we all will one day decompose in a cemetery. The heavenly and material aspects of our nature each go their own way once death arrives, each from where it came, each continuing in changing, in transforming, after having gone back to the source, ascending and descending, coming down after they rise. Therefore there is no death, be free of guilt, and understand you have a new birth, a new chance at life, with every breath. Ignorance is the problem, none of us know this. We desperately run around trying to get ahead, we think there will be nothing left of us once we’re dead. Worldly success means everything, we can’t wait to get a taste of the satisfaction the money and the fame will bring. And what if the dream doesn’t  true? It doesn’t happen for so many others so why should it work out for you? Will you cry and complain, will you wish you were never born, will you speak curses upon yourself, upon your life, or life in general, screaming in pain? Identify with the real inside of you. Be the Spirit, don’t rely on anything on this planet. Analyze the nature of things, understand and plan it. Whatever you’re doing, sacrifice what holds you back. You know what it is, and if you haven’t let it go yet, it’s because you’re hooked on it like crack. The real You needs nothing to survive, spiritually, it only needs to be aware in order to be alive. Adversity is nothing to the real Self, it thrives off of challenges, your talents are your tools, use them for the glory of what’s good, don’t follow the crowd like a fool. Life is a process of constant learning, but one day we’re all sure to graduate, just like from any other school.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 74.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 70: The Mysteries of Life and Writing.

70 days into this writing goal, every day writing a thousand words and posting them on here. I’m not sure of what my purpose for this goal actually is, but I’m glad it’s become a daily habit to write. I wish I enjoyed it more though, since sometimes it seems like just one more goal I have to complete before midnight. I think what might be missing still is organization. I have to find a way to organize my ideas, and to plan certain days to write about certain ideas. So far I’ve just been randomly writing every day, going off whatever comes to mind when I sit down to write. I have a feeling that, maybe if I just write enough, maybe if I write consistently, every day, eventually I might create a masterpiece, something which people might read and really feel inspired. I feel so much significance in life, things connect in my head and I am in awe at the way in which life interacts with life. Over the past few years it’s become really overwhelming, so I’ve started to try to get things written down, but for some reason so many things which I want to express are hard to get into words. I guess it’s expected when one is constantly learning about spirituality and philosophy, but I hope I can start to get my ideas across a bit clearer soon. The most important idea that I want to get across to people is that, even if we don’t know the answers to all of life’s mysteries, even if we feel that life is meaningless at times, or worse, that it’s evil and cruel, we are only a part of life, each one of us, so we are in no position to decipher what everything in life means. Do you consider yourself evil? No? What about perfect and good in every way? That’s not you either right? We are all making up life, life includes us, so we can’t separate ourselves from it in order to ever examine it properly. Life is what happens to us every day, but life is also everything that happens without us, far away from us, every single day. Since we are not God, and we are not the creators of life, we must assume a position of humility. Too many of us associate humility with weakness, with being soft and allowing others to walk all over us. Humility is an attitude towards life. Someone who is humble has no need to justify his or her belief or to have others believe it. We can all use our sense of discernment to find what works best for us in our lives, what is right and what is wrong conduct, but humility means that we shouldn’t attempt to force others to live as we do. We can offer wise advice when we see our friends and family struggling, but we must understand that we are all free to live the life we have been blessed with. The reason I want to get this message across through my writing is because, once we understand this, that we are interconnected with life and that it is much deeper than it often seems, then we will be more likely to try to come to a fuller understanding of it. The person who, in his or her arrogance, thinks that his belief system is all there is to know, and that he has figured it all out, that life can be fully explained by any one religion or philosophy, has closed himself off from ever reaching higher truth. Humility is the first step towards properly living life. Once we assume a humble attitude towards life, then we are free to live, to interact, to understand. This is why I write, because, even though I do not have all the answers to life, at least I accept and understand that. I can write without pretending to have it all figured out, as a real person with real thoughts, trying to live a real life. I don’t know what will happen with my writing. I don’t know who will read it, or why, or what thoughts will pop into each reader’s mind as they read this, but I write because I know that life is made of connections, and that we must do what we have to do, even as we face uncertainty. Should I stop writing because I don’t know what will ultimately come of it, or even why I’m doing it at times? Of course not. We have to keep on moving in the face of uncertainty, and we have to keep on learning, on wondering, on connecting the dots of life, even if we are facing adversity, even if it seems like it isn’t worth moving on. Life is mysterious, and knowing that, really feeling that mysterious quality of life within myself, all the unknown potential which lies within every human being, has really sparked a flame in me, to read, to write, to share information so that whoever may read it may be inspired in some positive way. I started out this post with no idea of what I would write, and I even started writing my own answers to my own question down. Why don’t I enjoy writing more? I answered that I had to have more organization. However, once I got to writing I had more and more ideas, and now I’m not sure how I even ended up on this sentence, writing about what I’m currently writing about, about how life is so wonderful and mysterious. The point is that it just happened somehow, that something real which was on my mind was successfully transmitted into words for you all, and that now there’s no going back, all because I decided to just give it a go. Things are bound to happen in life, no matter what, and if we try to live with humility, we can try to understand and learn more about the things that happen in life and why, and we can learn to use those things in order to have better things happen in the future. Everything’s a mystery, so we might as well try and figure it out. we never know where life will take us, but it is sure to take us somewhere. Stop pretending to know everything, stop pretending that you know where you’re going. Be humble, seek help from those who know, and try to learn and understand, and then to put into practice.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 71.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 66: Life Is A Learning Process.

Life is a constant learning process. The ups and downs, trials and tribulations, the highs and lows that make up our lives, they can all be looked at and appreciated, if we can achieve such a state of mind, as the necessary pieces of the puzzle which makes us who we are. Life is about putting all the pieces together, about connecting all the dots in the right order, in order to see the bigger picture eventually. Life is really about trial and error, although we can learn beforehand about the things we consciously choose to become involved in. Some things just happen though, or at least we have no clue why they’re happening. Sometimes we have no way to prepare for such a situation, and in these cases learning happens on the spot. We have no choice but to learn. In reality, we learn from everything we experience, consciously and subconsciously, we are always learning, always changing into something new. We are never the same person, every passing second changes us in a profound way, even if we don’t experience the change in progress. Small changes that take a second give way to big changes that happen throughout a lifetime. Pain comes and passes, we curse and we cry, joy comes and we rejoice, but we cry when it leaves. We are relieved when the pain passes, and we appreciate life a little more, but for how long? Is it only a temporary feeling? Too often this is the case. We often overlook all the blessings in our lives by being too caught up in complaining. By focusing on the negative aspect of everything, we fail to be thankful for, or to even acknowledge, all the wonderful things in our lives, and we also fail to see how any positive result could come from the things that seem like total tragedies to us. The biggest problems in our lives are the ones that we could learn the most from, but too many of us are too afraid to do this, and we are also too afraid to even acknowledge our own cowardice. If we could dive deep into our despair, if we could stare sorrow in the face and smile at it, if we could master our emotions and all the thoughts that run daily through our minds, we could probably do a lot more learning, and a lot less complaining than we currently do. We could dig for gold in our problems if only we changed our attitude. We could trace the cause of every problem we face, and we would see that it starts with us, and that a change must therefore start with us as well, with nobody else. If we refuse to learn, if we run from distraction to distraction, hoping to avoid looking at the truth of our lives, we still will not be able to avoid learning completely. We can choose not to learn now, by discernment, but we will surely learn our lesson later, only we will have to learn it the hard way, probably not under very pleasurable circumstances. Life has a way of catching up to us, and there’s no escape from fate. We have free will to create our lives, but if we act out of ignorance, if we don’t know what knowledge even means, then are we really making conscious decisions, are we really free men and women? We talk way too much, and we all think we have the answer, we are all self-righteous in some way, and I’m not excluding myself. We all have to fight a constant battle, one that’s even more important, more intense, than any battle against external forces. We are all facing an inner battle against demonic forces, evils such as lust, greed, hate, jealousy, ambition beyond any reason. These are all things that are bound to lead to catastrophe if they are not placed under the power of the Spirit, or at least under the power of reason or common sense, which might not be enough. If we are not aware of this, then how can we even think of starting to learn about how to be free? How can we try to learn to live life if we think it is meaningless, if we think that nothing really matters and that life is just a constant quest for the most pleasurable feeling, for the highest high or the craziest thrill? We must do away with these ignorant notions. Life is meaningful beyond human comprehension, and we can learn something from everything. We can learn from good and from evil, we can learn from the kind and we can learn from the wicked, we can learn what is right and what is not right, we can learn from our parents, we can learn from priests or from politicians, we can learn from books or from crooks. Who we learn from often plays a big role in who we become in life, but the wisest teacher of them all is life itself. No matter who we choose to learn from in life, be it professionally or just in general, about life, no one can teach us like life can. Life is the master of life, it knows all there is to know about it, because it is life itself. The more we understand the deep significance of life, the more we try to connect with it, to really live and to feel it, to feel fully alive, the easier it becomes to understand life, to understand how to incorporate everything, the good and the bad, into our lives, how to keep calm and continue to move forward, how to trust in God, in life, and how to leave worry behind. We were not meant to live in fear or worry, so we must focus on living our lives as best as possible and on learning the most we can from every day we are blessed to live through. The first step is to humble ourselves and to accept that we don’t know much at all, that we are the humble students of life from now on.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 67.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 65: All Work and No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy.

Sometimes we think we’re the only ones who know how to really live life. We laugh at others who spend time thinking about or working on other things, things we personally could care less about. But we all have things we are interested in, and we all like to spend our time differently. We are free to do as we wish, all of us, and it is only natural that all of us would like to spend our time differently, seeing as how we are all very different and unique people. It’s true that some things are more productive than others, but who says that all activities have to be productive anyway? Some activities are done just to have fun, such as most games for example. Some games teach things as well, but the main idea behind a game is just to have fun. Some games allow us to win, or to lose, while some games are endless, they can’t be beat, and some are for one player, while some are for multiple players, so we see that the main purpose of a game is not always competition, it is simply to allow a person to have fun. Is there anything wrong with games because they are not leading up to anything productive? Are they simply a childish distraction from life? Not at all. We all love games, from small children all the way to elderly people. Babies are basically born playing, and whenever I visit my grandparents they’re diligently trying to fill in all the blanks of the newspaper’s Sudoku or crossword puzzle. Games like these are actually quite productive, since they allow us to exercise our thinking, as well our problem-solving abilities. It was actually a game of Sudoku which I played today, a game I’ve never seriously played before, which got me thinking about writing about this today. It was challenging, and I really had to use my brain. It took me quite a long time to fill in all the blanks. If we make a habit of doing such an activity every day then we will be sharpening our minds without a doubt. But apart from these productive games, there are many other games which, as we’ve mentioned, are not so productive. Should the playing of such games be avoided or kept to a minimum? In a way yes, but in a way no. I was never much of a gamer, but my youngest brother David really loves video games, and has a number of different consoles with different kinds of games for each one. My dad is always nagging him about reading a book, and sometimes I jump in as well and mention the fact that reading is a great way to learn about life and the world, but I feel bad because I don’t want to make it seem like gaming is an inferior activity, like he’s wasting his time by having fun. It’s true that we can become addicted to video games, that we can dedicate way more time than necessary to our progress in any game, but the games themselves cannot be blamed. We need to look at the attitude of the player. Everything in life requires balance, so it’s not good to do nothing but play. But the opposite is also true, since people who avoid all kinds of fun and games and are completely obsessed with study, or philosophy, or religion, or with any other scholarly subject, are often missing out on a lot of joy in life. Such people are usually attempting to cut fun out of their lives since they feel that it is a necessary sacrifice, one which they are willing to make in order to finally achieve that great success they are dreaming about. Not everyone can reach the greatest heights however. Many people go through life despising all the good things they’ve been blessed with. They can’t stop to play with their children, they can’t have a fun moment with their wife or husband, and they can’t let their children be children either, since they are always trying to get them to grow up. Other parents never teach their kids responsibility, and this is a great mistake, but to teach nothing but discipline with no time for fun is not good at all either. When I decided to stop drinking and smoking excessively, to start reading philosophical and spiritual books, to start meditating and trying to live life right, I unfortunately became a bit obsessed for a time. I was sick of my old life, and I knew that I needed to make radical changes in my life in order for me to really be able to change, in order to see some real results. The discipline was definitely needed, but one thing which I regret is having been so uptight about it in the beginning. I desperately wanted to change, and so I hoped to spend every second of the day meditating, reading, learning, watching documentaries, etc, and I started to look down at the world, as if everyone everywhere is always wasting time, as if people are simply passing the time without doing anything productive. I felt like this had been my life up until then, drinking and partying and wasting time, so I saw nothing but that in people’s lives. I was bothering my wife about playing too many games on the iPad, I was complaining to her, asking why she doesn’t like to read more, or isn’t more interested in spiritual or philosophical subjects. Everyone has their path to walk, and learning to live life right should not cause us to become more serious than it is good to be, it shouldn’t turn life into one long sacrifice, and it should not cause us to look down at other people simply because they don’t choose to spend their time in the same way as us. Sometimes all we need to do is to stop worrying, to sit back and relax, and to play a game and forget about the stress.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 66.

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 56: Watch What You Say.

I hear people talk about so many useless and random things. I don’t criticize them on the spot, or behind their back to anyone, since I remember the days when I also used to speak just for the sake of speaking, just to be seen, just to be heard and acknowledged. I always had to make my opinion known, I always tried to have people see me in a certain light or think of me in some specific way, and so the things I said were just calls for attention, even when I myself didn’t see that at the time. I had to make my life into what I thought it should be, I had to make people know me, know who I am, what my beliefs were, how the system was wrong and I was right, and how my way of life was the only correct way to live life: recklessly, without a care in the world or a thought for the future. As I matured over the past few years, after living through the consequences of some of the bad decisions from my past, I’ve really stopped talking so much. I’d say I don’t even speak half as much as I used to. I try to practice discernment with all thoughts that come up in my mind, at least whenever I remember to do so, and I find that many of the things which I’m about to say can and should be discarded before they are even expressed. Nowadays I try not to talk so much, as I would much rather attempt to understand the things I observe, the things I see and hear, to relate them to my own experiences as well as what I’ve learned and continue learning. Most of the time we say things which we don’t know for sure, we make assumptions about others due to our limited knowledge of the situation they are facing, or of the life they have lived as a whole, or we offend others by only advising them from our own point of view, without ever taking a moment to place ourselves in their shoes. I try to give advice to my friends when they need it, though I don’t try to seem like I know everything, and I don’t go around telling people what they are doing wrong in their life, especially without providing any alternative to their current actions. All of us are struggling in this life, all of us are confused to a certain extent, all trying to do the best we can to stay sane and to survive, and maybe to transform our lives into great achievements, to make our dreams come true. This only seems to matter when it applies to ourselves though, but we are quick to kill the dreams of others, whether they are our friends or enemies, even if we think that words are pretty much harmless. Words are extremely powerful, and I’ve written on that subject before. So many of us are happy to see our friends remain where they are, never advancing or moving forwards, since they make us feel comfortable about who we are and where we’re at in life, so we only talk with them about trivial things, we never try to suggest any positive change or challenge, since the friendship might change for the worse or end if one of us gets higher up the ladder than the other. This is the way too many of us see things, yet the sentiment is often unconscious. We believe we want what’s best for our friends, yet we have no problem with letting them kill themselves with alcohol or cigarettes or drugs, so long as we are not the only ones doing it. We shouldn’t refrain from giving advice to those we care about, as it can be precisely what they need in order to move ahead and face whatever obstacle they may currently be facing, but we should always advise them in a humble manner. We always must keep in mind that we could have slipped just as easily as them, since we live in a world full of temptation and desire, our will is constantly being weakened, our minds attacked. We should never think of ourselves as higher than anyone else, as superior to anyone, just because they have done something which we consider horrible, which we believe we would never do ourselves. We don’t know what things can come to, we don’t know what everyone’s been through, and we don’t know why everyone does what they do. We can’t be the judges of humanity, we can only live our own lives. Only we have our own memories, our own aspirations, only we have our own ideas, our own I know that I know more about some things than others, though I don’t consider myself an expert in any specific subject, so I don’t pretend to be. Even so-called experts on any subject could benefit from thinking a bit less of themselves, leaving the arrogance behind, and admitting that there are many things, even about their special subject which they don’t fully understand. We learn during every day that we are alive, but it is our choice to learn the hard way, by arrogantly trying to mold life to our convenience, or to learn the easy way, by maintaining the attitude of a humble observer in this world. No matter how important we may think we are, whether we are the owner of the biggest organization on the planet, whether we are the most famous rock star or actor, whatever kind of celebrity, we all need to be humble enough to see ourselves as something else, something which we all have in common These days no one will take you seriously unless you’ve been to college or university, but I don’t think it’s necessary to Often times I’m too caught up in thought to say anything, I’m starting to let life happen more, without complaining, or without attempting to change the direction of things. I don’t know where I’m going with this, to be honest, but I have enough words and it’s time for me to meditate now, so off I go into a wordless space.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 57.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 53: From Tired to Inspired.

Today was another day. I’m tired, but I have enough energy to learn, to read, to write. I’m faded, I ate some pizza so I feel a bit heavy, but I’m comfortable. Today I was thinking back on my fam, the ways in which they may have changed while I’ve been gone away, the way things used to be, how they will never be the same again. It’s not a sad thing, maybe nostalgic, but shocking as well. My youngest brother just finished the eleventh grade, only one left now to graduate from high school. Meanwhile I still feel like I just left high school, and I’m like eight years older than him. It’s hard sometimes, not to feel like you’re getting lost in the system, like you’re not really heading anywhere. It’s easy to judge ourselves based on external values, based on what society thinks about life and how it should be. Life is way too often referred to as a general idea. But life, as in the concept of being alive, and life meaning the time that a single individual has before death, are two different things. Life is something common to all, in the first sense, but in the second, life is very, very different to all individuals. We all experience and perceive things much differently than those around us. We might be more similar to some of our worst enemies than to those around us, because we are all born a certain way, and then we are further shaped in a certain way as we grow, and so many of the factors at play are simply out of our control, such as all of childhood before we can take care of ourselves as adolescents or adults. We don’t decide whether we are similar to others or not, in a way, our nature is embedded in us, and our karma is creating our life, so it is our duty, our dharma, to live, each one of us his or her individual life, to the fullest. We all can find more in common than we think we can with almost anyone we can imagine, just as we can find things about most people which are absolutely disgusting to us. We are all alike and yet very different, when we think of it in a context of duality, but beyond this we are similar in Spirit, in a dimension beyond all duality. So again, we shouldn’t judge ourselves based on external values which society believes are important, but instead we should understand that we are already special, that there is already a purpose to each and every one of us, including me, and including you as well. If we are born in the United States, or in Honduras, or Canada, or whether we are Asian or European or Middle Eastern, we are all born exactly where and when we are meant to be born, to the parents who we were meant to be born to. Whether we are meant to be male or female, all we have to do is to look at who are, who we were born as. There is a reason why we are who we are, why I am who I am, and why you are born are you, and he as he is, and she as she is. Everyone comes to life because of each parent’s decision to make love, to have sex. Beyond this, however, there are deeper reasons, reasons which we simply can’t understand, for why a new life is born at a certain time. It is not our place to take a life that God has chosen to bring into this world, especially if it has come about because of our own carelessness, because we want to party and be wild and free, free to exchange our sexual energy with whoever we please, without ever even attempting to understand its true power, or its connection with the divine force which is love, and how they are meant to be fused together in the harmony of a true and loving relationship. We have to face responsibility for our actions, otherwise we will never be truly free. The evil we commit today will haunt generations down the line for a long, long time, just as the sins of our ancestors have left us in the state we are in today. Changes take time, and things all have their effects. We live in a world of cause and effect, there is simply no denying it. Those who choose to live in denial of this basic truth of life are bound to face the consequences of their actions regardless, but these days they try not to be legally held accountable. We must understand that sex is sacred, that any new life is sacred, that a great Spirit lives in all of us, and is what gives life to any body. A body without Spirit would be nothing but meat and bones, just like the chicken or beef most of us eat. How can we ever understand the sanctity of life when we eat other species for mere convenience? I myself still haven’t stopped eating meat, so don’t think of this as an attack to you or anyone else, but we can’t stay in denial of the facts. If we acknowledge the truth, then we are bound to change sooner or later, we will be compelled to change, since the truth will set us free, it has to. If we stay in denial though, why would we ever attempt to change, to improve, if we can’t see what’s wrong in the way we behave? Time flies, life is sacred, and we need to figure out how to live smarter, how to really feel alive and really be alive during every second. I started out a bit tired, now I feel inspired, just like when I read some truth which resonates with me. Reading and writing are amazing tools, I can’t stress it enough, to get to know about thought around the world, through the ages and even now, as well as thoughts floating around up in your own head.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 54.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 52: Spontaneous Writing, A New Life.

So many things on my mind that I want to write down, but when I sit down to write it’s like I don’t know what or how. It reminds me of how I started my very first post of this daily thousand-word series. Although some days I feel more clarity than others, most times I just try to wing it. I used to feel bad about it, now not so much. Creativity doesn’t always have to involve too much planning, sometimes none is necessary, though experience and practice are probably always necessary no matter what. Freestyle rapping is an example of creativity on the spot, although it’s unfortunate that sometimes it’s filled with nonsense, since artists don’t have time to think of intelligent lyrics, they’re simply trying to rhyme. So, as I write I try to keep my ignorance to the lowest level possible, I try to speak the truth but not to be offensive, yet to speak the truth nonetheless. It’s simply necessary, and it’s what inspires me to write in the first place. I used to be very extroverted, having a lot of friends and partying often, but now I don’t go out or drink, I mostly stay home with my wife, and I don’t live nearly as crazy as I used to. Let’s say I do a lot more thinking these days, a lot less spending, and a lot less dumb shit. My childhood and early teen years were filled with trouble, mostly caused by my own stupidity and wrong attitude towards life. I can’t say I’m a completely new man, but so far I’ve changed a lot over the past few years, mostly for the better. I’ve also quit smoking cigarettes, I just can’t stand the thought of screwing up my health so badly. Some would say it’s stupid to quit smoking one thing and continue with another, but I do still blaze, probably about as often or even more than I did before, since now I live on my own, with my wife, not with my parents, and I can just keep my bong. It’s definitely convenient, the only downside is I miss all the going out to smoke joints in the fresh air. So, with a few changes to my overall health and some for my mental health, I go on, day by day, doing the work of self-improvement, yet in the process, every second, of constantly remembering that, although the self is being strengthened, being improved, there is a dimension beyond the self which it is also essential to strengthen, which is the dimension of the Self, of the Spirit. We must live life to the fullest, yet we mustn’t become attached to anything in it, we shouldn’t embrace the things of this world as the greatest treasures, otherwise when we lose them, and we will, we will not know who or what we are. Everything which we once were has been taken from us, now where are we to be found. Where or what is the self? When I write spontaneously, these thoughts on spirituality are often what come to my mind, what surface up from my subconscious, so I guess it’s a good sign about where my mind is at, since it’s what I mostly contemplate these days. I know it’s not good to overthink, and that the final goal is to completely transcend all thought as well as emotion or feeling, but with so much interesting knowledge, with so many different things to learn, to analyze, how can I not read, how can I not learn, how can I help myself from at least attempting to familiarize myself as well as I can with the greatest wisdom we can attain in this life, in this world? How can I shy away from following the mysteries, from trying to find meaning in every second, in every day. Time and life is all we all have, and it strikes me as off how little we like to think or talk together about what life means, what the world is for and why we exist here. I think we avoid the subject since we don’t like to feel small, like we don’t know something as simple as the meaning of our own existence. We all know we don’t know, so we avoid admitting the fact to each other, and instead we all just follow some religion or philosophical school, we learn it as best as possible, and we pretend that we know. We tell people that we know what life means, that we know who or what God is and exactly what he wants for us. We begin to believe our delusion, since we can never know the truth in its entirety. Don’t assume I’m being pessimistic, it’s just a fact. It’s a fact because the truth is beyond our human understanding. Our brain is not wired to comprehend why it exists, there are dimensions beyond time and space that defy everything we know, every shred of understanding or knowledge or wisdom we could even fathom to use in order to try to understand such experiences, if we could have access to them. The closest I can think of this is the psychedelic experience, and most who have used psychedelics would agree that the experiences they’ve had cannot be described by words. These are simple substances, yet still mysteries, but what about the mysteries of angels, of demons, of God and the Devil? What about life on other planets, about life possibly being nothing but a simulation? What about what happens when we die? These are all mysteries, but there are even greater mysteries than these, ones we might even be able to solve, or maybe not fully, but we might learn a thing or two, or the most important thing we could ever learn, in the process of attempting to solve them. I’m talking about the mysteries of who we are and what our individual purposes are, what my individual purpose is as well as yours. These things are worth finding out, and if you don’t think we have any purpose, if you think your existence is random and meaningless, then why don’t you attempt to find out, to sincerely try the best you can to figure out if you’re right or wrong, if you do have any meaning or not. Search wherever you can, in books and most importantly from first-hand experience. Live life with discernment, and you will see so much meaning before your eyes which you have previously chosen to ignore, it will seem like a new life you cannot believe,

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 53.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 50: 50 Days Writing! Goals Review.

Half a hundred days of writing and posting a thousand words. I’ve failed at some other goals during this time, and I’ve restarted them right back for another attempt, but I’m especially happy that I’ve been able to stay on track with this particular goal. I was just letting my wife know about it. It’s great to have people all over the world have access to what you write, and to actually have people read it, even if it’s just a few people sometimes. It’s one of the truly wonderful about the internet age which we live in. It’s a great privilege which requires great responsibility on a writer’s part, so I try to keep my mind as clear as possible when I write these things, free of all negativity and frustration. I don’t drink anymore, which is great, since it would have been such a hindrance to staying on track with my daily writing goal, both because I’d obviously going out more, and because I’d feel totally destroyed the day after getting wasted. It didn’t feel so bad when I was younger, and I know for sure I drank a lot more back then, so I knew my body was now beginning to tell me that it was time to take it easy. I’m super glad about this goal as well, I haven’t drank a drop of alcohol in almost a hundred days now, so I gotta a hundred and a few more to go on my current challenge of two hundred days. Sometimes I feel I might just lay off the booze for good, even after I finish my two hundred day goal. I don’t crave it anymore and I feel totally fine without it, and it feels like I got my shit together, like I got things a bit more under control. Life isn’t always about being in control of everything, but completely losing control of oneself can be dangerous, and it’s certainly something that alcohol intoxication can lead to, and does lead to a lot of the time. Life feels good without it, but then I think that, if I can manage to keep it under control and moderation, then a beer or two here and there won’t do much harm, and will make me enjoy any nice day or night out. The problem is that I can’t ever stop at two, so I think I just might try to lay off the booze completely for as long as possible. Either way, I’ve been doing some experiments with psychedelics, in the past mostly shrooms, but now I have a connect for some good acid, and since I don’t party anymore, I’ve been just tripping alone at home (since Maria usually falls asleep), and concentrating on peace, meditating, reflecting having deeply profound experiences of psychological and spiritual growth. New thoughts come to me, and things which I know deep inside, which I’ve even forgotten from so much neglect, from being ignored for so long, from not wanting to deal with them, start to make themselves known to me, their significance becomes inescapable and I know without a doubt that, what matters most in life, is to love others, to love and care for one’s family and friends, to make connections, to always keep a good vibe following you wherever you go, a contagious feeling that will inspire others to live in the same way. I’ve been tripping on two or three tabs at a time, a few months at a time, two or three maybe, and reflecting on my progress with my goals as well. So what do I need alcohol for, that dulling sensation of the mind, that lustful appetite and aggressive behavior? Sometimes I feel frustrated with my goals, but I cannot abandon my sadhana. I have also been working on keeping lust off my mind, inspired by various books, mostly by Hindu Swamis, on the power of Brahmacharya. The concept of Brahmacharya provides, in my opinion, a better explanation of what I had read before in Mantak Chia’s book, regarding the same concept but from the Taoist perspective. Abstaining from all lustful thoughts and looks, ideas, only making love with my wife every few days, meditating and reading daily, the Bible and the Sutras, abstaining from alcohol, writing every day to keep my creative side alive. I wish I was making music, but for some reason, I find I don’t have much inspiration for that at this moment in life, but it comes and it goes I believe. Some other things I feel I need to do are to start focusing more on my health. I was already exercising every day as a goal, but I stopped about a month and a half back since I got sick with a random and mysterious fever. It would hit me every single day, for about a week and a half or two weeks. I had to gather my strength after those two weeks, so I’ve been eating better, thinking that not eating enough might have something to do with me being weak and therefore susceptible to such fevers. I still haven’t started exercising, but I need to, and I will do so any day now, I’ll start again with my weights and pushups, yoga and jogging around the baseball field which is a block away. Exercise makes you feel energetic, alive, and it keeps us healthy. We all need to exercise a healthy habit of daily exercise! There’s no denying its benefits. And the hardest goal of all, I made a promise to Maria that I would start this month, that I would only smoke weed fifteen days of the month. I didn’t promise this to her because of any pressure on her part, but instead because I knew I’d have to honor my promise to her no matter what, so this would be the perfect way for me to keep feeling accountable for completing this new goal. I’m not taking on this weed goal because I think it’s harmful, but because I feel I’m too attached to staying faded. Nothing should become an attachment in our lives, and if we see that something has, then we need to deal with it, then we can partake in it again in a healthy way. Wish me luck so I can smoke only half the month this month of July (usually I blaze every day)!

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 51.

~ Rebel Spirit

1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 45: The Incredible Power of Words.

Writing since I recognize the power of words. Nowadays I try to refrain at all times from saying things that are absurd. I question what I hear now, and what I’ve previously heard. Though I try to live in the moment, not attached to what has already occurred. Words contain power, by the power of words the world is ours. Words can lead to life or death, they can leave our mouth feeling sweet or sour. Or sometimes both, sometimes what needs to be said hurts. But it is needed. Sometimes words can get us high, like getting weeded. Sometimes words can lift us up, but they can also be used to destroy. Nowadays we treat the word as if it were nothing but a toy. We don’t understand the consequences of what we say. We think tomorrow won’t be affected by the words of today. We babble on about nonsense, it’s all a funny game we play. Yet we’ve forgotten how to communicate at the end of the day. When we’re alone, at home, no one calling on the phone, no text, just thinking about life and what may come next. Who can we talk to? Who can we tell. We all have a false identity we’re trying to sell. The ideal buyer is ourselves, but we don’t buy it. We know we can’t fool ourselves, but still we try it. We know we have a problem, yet we continue to deny it. Life seems like a plane about to crash, we just can’t fly it. So we talk to no one, we hold it all in. We don’t even write it all down with a pen. We don’t trust our closest friends, or even the members of our own kin. We can’t speak, we’re afraid to lose, so we’re bound to never win. We’re afraid to say what we believe, we only speak to grieve, to moan and to whine, we only open our mouths to fill our bellies with wine. With liquor, so the words that we speak become sicker, and harsher and harmful. They harm ourselves and others. It all starts out innocently yet it ends with fighting among brothers. Since we need to be drunk to say what we really mean, now we want to be the ones to speak, and so we act mean. We need to get our feelings out while we’re in this dream, because we couldn’t do it if we were just sober and clean. We speak the wrong words, only seeking glorification. We criticize our friends, our family, our nation. We follow all the worst trends of our generation. We moan about the weather and about our education. Yet others would kill to live as we do. We stick to our beliefs as if only they were true. We’re living in a bubble, and your words are bound to be misunderstood. With words, the most tremendous evil can be portrayed as good. Crowds convinced of the necessity to murder whole races. We’re all dying of fear inside but we see a smile on each other’s faces. We can’t be real, we can’t be vulnerable, we can’t be free. We have to be the hardest, we have to make everyone believe we’re exactly who they want to be. But we’re locked in a prison, our words become hell. We have nothing but our hidden frustration to show and tell. So we speak hatred in every direction, we curse because we have to wait at an intersection, we complain and we complain, and those around us are receiving a constant injection, of negativity into their minds, we spread it throughout the planet. Then evil comes back around to haunt us, and then we complain because we can’t understand it. We promote violence and division in our music, then we’re sad when we lose those we love. We think we can make a mockery of God above. We use our words to hate, to intimidate, to lie, to cheat. But what if we would bestow a blessing upon every person we meet? Words are energy, they never die. Words are constantly influencing you and I. Words, knowledge, wisdom, keep ideas moving through history. Words are the closest we can come to unraveling life’s mysteries. We need to speak to understand, to ask, to question and to listen. We don’t need to speak to promote our own selfish system. Too many opinions, too much empty talk. We need to be true to our word, it must be solid as a rock. We need to speak the truth even if it leaves our audience in shock. Because a hidden force will back us up, preventing us from being blocked. We shall achieve what we must, if we have divine trust, maybe our words can resonate with people millions of years after we ourselves have turned to dust. Words continue to inspire, words can transmit our love, our fire, to the minds of those who are haunted by the need for knowledge, who crave wisdom as their highest desire. We are free to speak rude words, to offend people, to seek to break people down, yet we would only be bringing ourselves down more than anyone else. The words we speak are only reflections of our own energy, and when we truly start to follow a righteous path, we will understand how useless it is to speak unnecessary words, or words that hurt people for no reason, or jokes which promote evil thoughts. Become purified, be forgiven for every time you lied. Now you are free to live, to be faithful to the truth, to give it your all, your purest intention. Determined, do what you must, speak what you must, write what you must, keep a record of your life, keep a record of your thoughts, keep a record of your habits. Create poetry and philosophy, create stories which teach morals to people, lecture and don’t try to promote yourself or your own philosophy, don’t try to gain anything from it. Simply and humbly speak the truth to whoever you can, realize how much power your words have.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 46.

~ Rebel Spirit

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1,000 WORDS (2nd attempt): DAY 37: Forget About Enlightenment and Live Your Life!

Stop worrying about achieving enlightenment, and focus on being in the moment instead. Focus on living your own life to the fullest extent, to the best of your abilities, with no excuses, at all times. Too many people are seeking thrills from so-called spirituality, boosting their egos up with fancy new terms, pretending to fully understand ancient concepts. Nowadays people make money off of spirituality just as with any other service, it’s all been commercialized now. The answer is not in some training program though, or in some spirituality course. The answer can only be found in your own Spirit, the Spirit of God living within you. Can you not feel God’s presence within you? Are you blind to your own goodness, to your own consciousness? Remove the blindfolds then, and behold, be honest with yourself and complete, look at you through God’s ayes, feel your oneness with all beings in Spirit. See that the suffering you can go through could be anyone else’s. We all go through problems while we live our lives, and some of us are stronger than others and are able to find better coping mechanisms than them. Many go down a very dark path of destruction, whether of self or of others. They are caught up in negative emotions, in feelings of hate, of extreme hopelessness, of being alone in a cold world. Understand that everything depends on how we handle each situation. Everything changes, so each decision leads to a new condition of life, and slowly but surely we create the lives we wish to live. On the flip side, we can create a life which we’ll later blame God for, claiming to have no idea how things could have gone so horribly wrong. So make the right decisions now, while you still have the chance to do so. No one will pay for your mistakes but yourself, yet you are bound to bring others down with you with each bad decision, just as everyone else will bring you down with their bad behavior. Let go of the cynicism and understand that, as you help to normalize negativity, others are bound to do the same, and soon we will all be at risk, we will all think we are fine, that we are normal, yet we will be living in an insane and dangerous society, one whose values are upside down. Aren’t these the times we are living in now? Stop looking for the answer here and there, stop treating spiritual matters as a game, as if you can advance from level to level, ascending and becoming some kind of divine teacher who reads peoples futures or commands others what to do at all times. Be humble, acknowledge your limitations and don’t flaunt your talents, use them when necessary. Understand that fools love to talk much, remain observant and alert, alive in the Spirit, unshaken by all the stupidity that might surround us at any given moment. Life becomes a moving meditation, writing a sitting meditation, cooking and making tea or coffee are standing meditations. Feel the moment, whether there’s nothing that seems to important currently going on, or whether you’re going through the biggest crisis you could ever possibly face, remain grounded in your awareness that this too shall pass, and that everything has a lesson to teach. Don’t feel entitled, don’t fight life’s process, however painful it may be, don’t complain, feel all the suffering and pain, but understand is as necessary. A lesson can be learned from every tragedy, and all can rise from the bottom of the deepest pit and ascend to the top of an empire like Joseph, all of us have been granted the ability to rise again, time and time again, just like a fiery phoenix. This is enough to challenge us for the rest of our lives, learning to live with acceptance, submitting our will to the Divine will, to things we cannot understand. Being content with events which we can only analyze over and over in order to learn from, or moments we can only cherish in memory now. What need do we have then to conjure up spirits back from the dead, to do great feats before the eyes of the masses, to spread the word of some religion or ideology wherever we may go, if we have not mastered our own minds, if we haven’t yet learned to be truly humble and accepting of life in every way we perceive it? We will fall, we will easily be deceived, we will think ourselves powerful, yet we will be nothing but puppets for the system, or even for evil spirits, who knows? Spiritual learning is nothing without true humility, without a true commitment to truth, without love for humanity, with cynicism towards life, with evil intentions towards others. No advancement can be made if the requirements to reach the goal are not followed. True bliss comes from the feeling of being rid of all impurity, or at least of most of it, knowing we have tried and struggled but succeeded in the end, from feeling that we are truly connected with the Divine Will, not from acting totally against it. We cannot feel God’s presence within us if we ignore the goodness of our own Spirit. We sometimes choose to ignore our intuition for reasons such as impressing others, or simply blindly following others against our better judgment. We can’t trust others to make decisions for us, we need to be always alert and we need to understand that we have to make the correct decisions for our own lives, each and every one of us, at all times. We are all imperfect as we live in this earthly life, and we all feel this illusion of separateness. It is the reason why we try to learn special skills, why we are so interested in the dark and mysterious at times, since we want to feel like we possess some special, or hidden, knowledge. We can now use this knowledge or wisdom to elevate our consciousness, and therefore our own lives, to a higher level. This is most people’s mentality, and it simply stops there. Not a single thought about using this new knowledge or energy for good, or to give back to the community by creating actual positive change. People want to achieve the condition of no-self, by following purely selfish pursuits, and it just doesn’t work that way.

To be continued tomorrow, on Day 38.

~ Rebel Spirit